


You're my Fix

by Shinoda_Obsession



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: College Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 39,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7210127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinoda_Obsession/pseuds/Shinoda_Obsession
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While attending art college, 19 year old Mike makes friends that will impact his future. He's intrigued by a seemingly homeless boy hanging around the campus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mike stood just inside the doorway with hope that the rain would subside. Whomever designed the layout of this damn college didn't think about weather conditions and the distance between the parking lot and the front door. By the looks of the sky things would only continue; with a heavy sigh he forced himself through the doors and ran to his rear-parked car six spots down, fumbling with the keys. He threw his backpack onto the passenger seat and sat down, slamming the door behind him.

He searched for something to use as a towel but came up empty, again cursing the rain. Running his hands through his wet hair he let himself relax, feeling his heart pounding in his chest from the momentary exertion. No matter how many times he'd done this this week, it still never occurred to him he should buy an unbrella; maybe a trip to the store was in order.

His phone jolted him from his thoughts, letting him know his girlfriend was calling. As he answered a body walked down the nearly bare parking lot aisle, slender and pale and smoking a cigarette. The rain had died down a bit, a mere drizzle grazing his windshield. He didn't recognize him from the school and he wasn't carrying a backpack. He started his car, catching the other man's attention as he exhaled; the blonde nodded his acknowledgement and continued walking. Mike ended his conversation and pulled out, heading home.

 

That night as he took Anna out for ice cream the image of the boy crossed his mind, distracting him from their conversation; not that it mattered, he wasn't doing much of the talking anyway. She was carrying on about her best friend's relationship, giving her opinion of why they weren't 'blending' well, as she put it. There was just something oddly familiar about this kid though...

“Mike? Don't you agree?”

“What? Yeah, completely. They should just break up.”

“Exactly.” she settled back into her seat, satisfied with his response.

His younger brother Jason greeted him as he walked through the door, returning from dropping her off at home. “Hey! How was the date?”

“Fine, usual.”

“If you're so bored with her why don't you just break up with her?” he suggested.

“I'm not bored with her I'm just – tired I guess. I don't know. I've got that project due and she's just really distracting.”

“I bet she is. Still not putting out?”

“Shut it Jason. It's not even like that.”

“No wonder you're stressed.” he teased, running up the stairs to dodge his brother's playful punch.

The next day he was joined by his friend Joe during lunch. Joe had just bought himself a new turn table and was eager to have him listen to his samples. They shared their taste in music and love of creating it, often having ameture 'jamming sessions' at Joe's apartment. Mike would bring his guitar and his recording device and they'd spin out whatever happened. He saved them just in case one day they'd become famous, his lesser known dream being to start a band; his father would never have approved of him throwing away college for that, though. “Music is for fun, not to live on. Get yourself educated for your future family.” he'd say, so that's what he did.

As they walked to their class Joe suggested they hang out afterwards. “I can't tonight, I gotta get started on my project. We're still on for tomorrow though?” he replied.

“Yeah, don't forget you gotta pick me up in the morning, Dave's taking my car for his show tomorrow night.”

“I remember.” They took their seats and retrieved their books from their bags.

As Mike walked casually to his car wearing headphones, he could see two figures standing near the stop sign at the end of the aisle. Squinting through the sunlight he could see it was a heated conversation involving the blonde boy from yesterday. He was wearing black baggy jeans and a white t-shirt, his red hat turned backwards. The other guy was starting to inch towards him, wanting to start a fight. Mike made his way down to them, removing his headphones as he asked “Is there a problem here?”

“None of your fuckin' business dawg, go about your day.” replied the sketchy looking fellow.

“See I can't do that with all this hostility you've got vibin' off you. Why don't you leave him alone and walk on.”

“I ain't finished talkin' to him. I'm not leavin' without my money.”

“By the looks of it he doesn't have it, so either way you're leaving without it. Maybe another time.”

Sketchy wasn't happy, but he wasn't about to argue with this kid either. “I'll be back mofo, and you best be carryin' when I do.” he said, pointing his finger in the blonde boy's face before walking away.

Mike stood there watching him leave before turning towards the boy, saying “You gotta get better friends.”

“Yeah? Well nobody invited you to butt in.”

“Hey, I was just trying to help.” he replied in defense.

“Well don't.” he said, pulling his pants up as he started to walk away.

“Hey wait, what's your name?”

The blonde boy stopped and turned “Why do you care?”

Mike shrugged, turning his music off as he slowly approached him. “I don't know. I just saved your ass. Least you could do is tell me your name.”

He considered his point, toying with his lip piercing Mike hadn't noticed before now before replying “Chester. Ch-Chaz. It's Chaz.”

A slight smile spread across Mike's lips at his response. “Nice to meet you Chaz.”


	2. Chapter 2

Mike sat hunched over his desk sketching the beginning of his project, crumbled up mistakes scattered around his room. His focus was being challenged by his curiosity about his new friend; his cockiness had been expected, but his defensive nature stirred questions. Mike wondered why he kept hanging around the college if he didn’t attend; did he live nearby? Had he graduated already? The houses around the Art Institute weren’t the worst of the worst, but they weren’t like Mike’s parents’ house. His parents worked hard, both successful people with triple digit annual incomes. Mike had everything he needed, plus a little more. Though their living space wasn’t a mansion, it was well built and could house their family as well as visitors for special occasions in the two spare rooms.

Jason knocked on his doorframe, asking if he was coming down for the movie. Mike sighed and gave up, putting away the sketch in his notebook and joining him downstairs. They made popcorn and added extra butter, setting it on the couch between them in the dark.

The next day Mike walked down the halls towards the common area near the library. He sat his bag down and took out his laptop, headphones still on as he checked his email. His friend Brad from high school wrote him back, asking how his “fancy art school” was going. Brad had chosen the more traditional route, attending a religious college with a great reputation. He played the guitar, making extra money on the weekend while playing for his church masses. 

He checked his watch and gathered his things, taking out his notebook with the sketch on it and the book for his next class. As he reached the landing between the flights of stairs, a student rushed down in his direction, bumping into him hard enough to drop his books. He bent over to retrieve them as Joe spotted him and rushed to help him. Mike stood and thanked him, Joe noticed a stray piece of paper they had missed. 

He grabbed it and said “Hey you forgot…this…” looking at the sketch.

“Oh, yeah, thanks.” Mike said, slightly embarrassed.

“Who’s that?” Joe asked.

“Uh, no one. Just a sketch.” Joe didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t press further. Mike waived goodbye and headed to class where they moved on to choosing different kinds of media for their projects. He had already decided on spray paint, something he had been experimenting with the past few months. His teacher accepted his idea and handed out the syllabus for the project.

 

Later as he found his car, he was disappointed when he didn’t spot Chaz anywhere. Joe had invited him to a concert that night; he drove home and showered, styling his hair in spikes. Anna wasn’t thrilled with his new hairstyle these days but she wouldn’t be at the concert; besides, Joe was doing it too.

They grabbed a few sodas and stood on the side of the crowd chatting with other concert goers. The music started but they could barely see the stage. They weren’t too bothered by it since it was only the opening band…until the singer started that is. Mike interrupted their conversation to ask who the band was but none of them had paid attention when it was announced. He pushed his way closer through the pit just enough to see; he was tall after all, he didn’t want to block anyone. He searched their setup for their name but stopped when he noticed the singer; it was Chaz!

He stood there surprised, listening to his flawless pipes belt out the sorrowful lyrics. He sang with such passion and emotion, his eyes closed and completely unaware of the crowd. Mike could feel what he sang in his gut in a way that stuck with him after the song ended. Chester opened his eyes and surveyed the crowd but didn’t see him; he gave them a half smile and thanked them for their cheers. They played one more song but Mike headed back to his friends. He joined their conversation and waited for them to leave the stage; he announced he was going to the bathroom and instead waited by the entrance to the stage.

Chester stopped to talk to the drummer, signaling towards the bar before he made his way down towards Mike. He touched his arm to get his attention. “Hey!”

“Oh, hey, uh…”

“Mike.”

“Mike, hey. You here to see Deftones?”

“Yeah, but you guys killed it!”

“Thanks.”

There was an awkward silence, making Mike feel like some creepy fan trying too hard for attention. “So, are you from here?” Nice opening dork, he thought to himself.

“I’m from Arizona, but I’m crashing at a friend’s place. Two blocks from the college.”

“Oh, OK, so that’s why I’ve seen you there.”

“Yeah. So I need a drink, you wanna…” he asked, pointing towards the bar.

“Oh, uh, I can’t. I’m only 19.” He said, embarrassed.

Chester smiled and chuckled. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Mike nodded, confused not only what he was doing but also by the weird feeling Chester had created in him when he smiled; what was that?

The older man returned with two beers, handing one to Mike. “Oh, dude thanks. I think I have some cash…” he stuck his hand in his pocket.

“Don’t worry about it, I get ‘em free, being with the band.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Well, thanks.” He said, taking a sip. “Are you 21?”

“Almost, but they don’t card me.”

Mike laughed. “Being in a band has its perks, huh?”

“It’s alright. The girls like it, but my wallet doesn’t.”

“Then why do it?”

“Cuz, music is in my blood. I’d rather be up there for free than working at Burger King for seven dollars an hour.”

“Is that where you work for real?”

“Yeah, it feeds me. Two in one.”

He nodded, understanding. “How long are you here for?”

“Whenever I wanna leave. We don’t have another show scheduled yet. No reason to go home just yet.”

Just as he was about to say something more Joe came up behind Mike, clasping his shoulder. “There you are! What happened to you?”

“Hey Joe, sorry. This is Chester, he was in the opening band! We were just talking.”

Joe shook his hand. “Oh yeah, the singer, right? Man, you guys were so good.”

Chester smiled. “Thanks.”

“Are you gonna watch with us?” he asked Mike. Mike was hoping to spend a few more minutes with his new friend but he didn’t want to blow him off.

“Yeah, I will.” He turned to Chester and said “I gotta…” pointing with his thumb to Joe.

“It’s cool. See ya around.”


	3. Chapter 3

Mike sat at his desk on his computer, IM-ing with Joe and Brad. Brad wanted to hang out after dinner with his parents. Mike offered to pick up Joe on his way, which of course Joe accepted. He got in his car and saw the meter was low. Mike decided to stop by the gas station by their college which was on the way to Joe’s place anyways, but they had the new Doritos flavor in stock too.

When he pulled up he spotted Chester standing against the outside of the building with a cigarette. Mike smiled instantly and grabbed his wallet to go inside and pay. “Sup?” he asked the man.

“Mike! Hey! Whatchu up to?”

“I was about to pick up Joe, we’re going to my friend Brad’s place.”

“Cool, cool.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothin’, I needed more cigs so I took a walk.”

“You wanna come hang out? We’ll probably play video games and eat junk food.”

“Sure, that’s cool. I’ll bring the beer.”

Mike pulled up to Joe’s driveway with Chester in the front seat. Joe saw the singer on his way to the door, settling for the back seat. “Hey guys! I didn’t know you two knew each other so well.”

“I ran into him at the gas station.” He said casually. Joe and Chaz made small talk on the way to Brad’s until Joe spotted the 30 pack of beer in the backseat.

“Dude! Beer!”

“Yeah, Chaz got it.”

“Good luck sneaking it in. You know Brad’s parents don’t allow alcohol in the house.”

“It’ll be fine Joe, just chill. We’ll be in the den, they’re not gonna bother us.”

“I hope not. You know Brad’s dad is a hunter.”

Chester laughed, making Mike smile. “What, he’s gonna shoot me for drinking in his house? Is he psycho?”

“You never know!” Joe exclaimed; Mike just shook his head and sneered.

 

Brad let Mike and Joe in and led them to the den with the snacks. Mike said he’d be right back, going out the back door to open the gate for the back yard where Chester was waiting with the beer. When they returned Brad asked “Who’s this?”

“This is Chaz, he was the singer from the opening band yesterday.”

“And you brought alcohol? Mike, are you crazy?” he whispered frantically.

“Brad just relax! Everything’s going to be OK.”

“My parents will know if I’m drinking.”

“Have you ever drank around them?”

“No.”

“Then don’t worry about it. Drink, don’t drink, I don’t care. I’m going to.”

They set up the console and selected their players, being careful to put the beer cans back in the box when they were done. Joe caved and had a few but Brad was too nervous. After about four beers Mike was feeling good, slurring his words and giggling at almost everything Chester said. Chester smiled at him, finding his incoherence amusing. “Feeling good, Mike?”

“I’m feeling AWESOME.”

“You gonna be OK to drive home?”

“Nope. Not yet.” He said, making Chester laugh.

While Joe and Brad battled on the Playstation, Chester stepped outside to smoke followed by Mike. Minutes later after their match, Joe noticed the two were still gone. He took the opportunity to voice his opinion to Brad. “So, Chaz seems cool.”

“Cool? He looks like a bum.”

“Nah, he’s alright. You should have heard him last night, they were phenomenal.”

“Who did they open for?”

“Deftones.”

“That’s pretty impressive.”

“Yeah! I didn’t know Mike knew him, they were talking last night.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. He’s never mentioned him to me.” Brad said.

Mike and Chester came back into the room, laughing loudly. Brad quickly shushed them, making them turn into a giggling fit at his discipline. “Guys, I don’t want my parents to wake up!”

“Dude they’re upstairs! Chill the fuck out already.” Mike scolded.

“What the fuck’s gotten into you Mike? Why are you being such an asshole?”

“I’m not, I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“Yeah? Then why aren’t you drinking at your house?”

“I would, but we came here.”

“Yeah, well maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.”

Chester was picking up on the fact that he had stirred up trouble. Mike had been nothing but nice to him, he didn’t want to cause problems between him and his friends.

“Hey, man, my bad. I’ll take ‘em. I didn’t know you’d be mad, I just didn’t want to show up empty handed.”

“No, don’t apologize to him, you did nothing wrong. He’s just mad at me because he’s scared of his parents kicking him out." He explained before turning to Brad to say "Grow up man.”

“Me! You’re living with your parents too!”

“Not for long! I’m moving out after this semester.” Mike didn’t want to fight with his friend; he took a minute to calm down before saying “Look, I’m gonna go. Joe, you want a ride?”

“Yeah, hang on.”

“We’ll be in the car.” Mike grabbed the beer box and searched quickly for any cans left behind. “I’ll call you tomorrow Brad.”

While they waited for Joe to come out, Chester tried to apologize to him. “Chaz, don’t worry about it. He’s so up his parents’ asses sometimes it’s embarrassing. They’re just too strict. Why does that mean we can’t have fun?”

“Still, I didn’t intend to cause a fight.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you came, I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.” He said with a charming smile. Mike blamed the alcohol for the stir of emotions he felt.


	4. Chapter 4

Today was going to be a long Saturday. Mike had work at 8 am opening the music rental shop in town. He had been employed there for almost three months now and already they trusted him to be on his own; there was no surprise in that, though. Everyone trusted Mike. He’d man the shop in the morning on the weekends and give half hour lessons during the week. It didn’t pay much, but he loved teaching his skills, and he loved being around the instruments.

After work, Mike had promised to take Anna to the mall. One of her friends was throwing a party next week and she needed a new dress. He figured he could pass the time while she shopped by perfecting his sketch; he really needed to get to the painting tonight.

His relief showed up late, which was fine. He went home to grab his backpack and drove to Anna’s; when he arrived, she was sitting on the porch swing outside of her parent’s oversized country house. They were frequently at the golf club and considered themselves local celebrities. His parents met her parents at a function, his parents invited their family over for dinner where Mike met Anna and one thing led to another. She was cute, smart, sweet, the exact kind of girl they all would have expected him to be interested in; the problem was, she was spoiled and boring.

She walked to the passenger side door where he was waiting to open it for her. “Why are you late?” she asked, obviously disappointed.

“I had to stay over for a little bit, Rob was late.”

Anna sighed. “Now I only have 3 hours to pick out a dress and get my nails done.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t leave the shop unattended.”

“Whatever. I don’t know why you work there anyways, your parents make enough money.” She crossed her arms after connecting her seatbelt.

“I told you I’m moving out, I’m going to have my own place soon.”

“Why, again? It’s not like they’re short on rooms.”

“I want to have my own things. Don’t you want independence?”

“After I finish school, sure. What’s the rush?”

Mike knew the conversation was going nowhere; he took a deep breath and successfully changed the subject to her. Her mood changed instantly as she recounted her day for him; Mike tuned her out and thought about his sketch.

 

As she paid for her dress, Mike finished a call from Dave who was excited about an opportunity with his band, Tasty Snax, that might lead them to going on tour. Anna waited for him to turn his focus to her so they could decide on dinner.

“Sorry babe, Dave was telling me about his band.”

“OK. So, dinner?”

“I don’t have a lot of money this week, I had to get my brakes done. How about Burger King?”

“Are you serious? No way. I have my dad’s credit card, he can buy us dinner. Let’s go.” And that was that. Mike strongly disliked when she threw her dad’s credit card around. Did she not realize it was real money? She’d easily spend $50 on dinner for the two of them, thinking nothing of it; Mike found it shallow.

After dinner, they sat in his car, making out in the street in front of her house; she was sitting on top of him and moving just enough for him to feel it. He let his hands drift from her sides to her hips, his fingers resting on her ass. He kissed her neck softly and grabbed her rear; she supported herself on his chest and began to grind, looking at the windows that had grown foggy. Instantly she freaked out and hopped off. “I gotta go.”

“Wait, why? Did I do something wrong?”

“My parents are going to see your car and think we’re having sex, I have to go before they come home.” She grabbed her bags and closed the door behind her, leaving Mike with a growing hard on. “Damn it!” he cursed. How could she expect him to keep getting worked up and suddenly cut off so quickly? He was getting to his limit with it.

 

Mike listened to music while lying on his bed the next morning, weighing his relationship with Anna. He wondered why he really was with her; was it for his parents? Did he think he was getting somewhere with her? When he thought about her he had no rush of emotions, she didn’t give him “butterflies” like he’d heard other people talk about with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Dave said his girlfriend Lindsey was the one; Mike wondered what that felt like to know, or how he knew. Anna would get excited to see him, sometimes; he wondered if he was more of a convenience for her.

His phone buzzed; Chaz was calling. He had given him his number while they were hanging out at Brad’s in case he’d need a ride anywhere. He answered; Chaz was inviting him to a party a friend of a friend was throwing, he had no idea where. Mike asked how they’d know where to go, Chaz said they’d know right before the party started. This was something he wouldn’t be expected to do, something without a certain outcome; he agreed to go, he’d be there around 9. He got up and searched his closet for something Chaz-appropriate.

 

“Hey there! What’s up?” Chaz greeted him with a cool handshake as he got in the car.

“Nothing new. How’ve you been?”

“Meh, I’m alright. We’ve got a gig back in Arizona for a graduation party next week. I think we’re leaving on Wednesday.”

“Awesome. So where am I going?” Mike asked. Chaz showed him the address he had been given; Mike knew the area, though it wasn’t one he frequented often. He drove there, reminding himself he was doing this in spite of expectations.

As the party went on Mike stuck close to Chester; he had no idea who any of them were and the house looked like an ongoing construction site. There were people passed out and almost everyone was inebriated beyond their limit. Chaz offered him a cigarette but he declined, though he accepted his beer. Chester patted his back understandingly while he smoked. After leading him back inside to the living room he said he’d be right back; Mike found a place against the wall to wait, feeling completely out of place. Chaz was better than this, wasn’t he? He wondered. He watched a couple getting frisky on the couch, the man’s hands were up her shirt, exposing her bare breasts; she was barely coherent but aware enough to make out with him. The man lifted her shirt more and paid more attention to her breasts while she seemed to begin to phase out. She looked at Mike and gave him a drunk smile, minutes before she vomited on the man.

Mike chuckled and left the room, standing against the adjoining wall. Chester managed to find his way back to him, but he was looking more like the woman that had been getting groped. “Mikey! How’s the party?”

“Uh, it’s OK. Are you OK?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m great! Let’s get another beer, shall we?”

“No, I’m good. I think I should go; why don’t I take you home?”

“What? No! Look, you haven’t met Sean, come see Sean.” Chester said, taking his hand and trying to pull him.

“Maybe some other time. I have class tomorrow. I need to go.”

“Man whatever, fuck you then.” Chaz turned and left.

Mike walked to his car and argued with himself over the guilt of leaving Chester in this sleazy place. He had friends there, and he had definitely taken something. What kind of friends were they, though? Mike returned to the party and found Chester as he was exiting the bathroom and said they were leaving. Chester fought him on it but Mike asked him how he was getting home that night; Chester didn’t have an answer. “Exactly. We’re leaving.” Mike stated finally.

Chaz was pissed but Mike threatened to carry him out, and he was too high to keep arguing. When Mike arrived at his parents’ house, Chaz was confused. “Oh hell no, I’m not taking your charity, Mike. Fuck that.”

“It’s not charity, it’s peace of mind. Get over yourself.” He waited at the front door for Chester to get over his rebellious attitude and get out of the car.

“You’ve got me by the balls on this one, but if I was home I’d never let you take me home.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” Mike replied with a sarcastic smile at he opened the door and led him to one of the spare rooms.


	5. Chapter 5

Mike woke and made breakfast, consisting of frozen waffles and orange juice. He ate his and waited for Chester who seemed to be sleeping in. He decided to take his plate to his room. After knocking and getting no response, he opened the door to find Chester passed out in the bed and half naked. He had been sweating, his hair drenched and his slender body glistened with the moisture. He noticed the tattoo on the ring finger to his left hand; was he married?

Mike set the plate down and gently shook him, only getting him to change positions and mumble something. Mike sat on the bed with a plop and scared him awake. “No! NO!” Chester screamed.

“Hey! It’s just me!” Mike tried to console him as he watched the older man attempt to contain himself.

“Don’t fucking do that!” Chester yelled at him.

“Sorry dude.” Mike gave him a half smile and chuckled. “Geeze. I brought you some food.”

“I need a cigarette.”

“You can go out back.”

“Your parents won’t get pissed?”

“They’re out of town until Friday, they won’t care.”

Chaz sneered as they made their way to the back door. “Lucky SOB. You have this entire house to yourself and you chose to hang out with me last night? I would have thrown a fucking party.”

“Not my idea of a good time, not now anyways.”

“You didn’t seem to have such a great time. Why’d you make me leave so early anyways?”

“That can’t be your scene, man. There’s got to be more to your life than those kinds of people.”

“What do you mean by ‘those kinds of people’?”

“Addicts, drunks, ignorant bums.”

“What the fuck do you know? You and all your daddy’s money. What the fuck do you know?”

“I know you’re a good looking, talented guy who’s choosing the wrong crowd.”

“And you’re so much better, you spoiled brat?”

“I’m not spoiled, I make my money. They only pay for my school.”

“And your car, and health insurance, and food. That’s more than I ever had!”

Mike shut his mouth. What DID he know? Chester hadn’t been so fortunate in his life, and now he had offended him; Mike felt horrible. “I’m sorry, Chaz. I didn’t ask for this life, and neither did you, but you don’t have to limit yourself to them either.”

“I don’t hang out with rich snobs either.” He retorted. “They all act like they’re too good for me anyways.”

“I’m not too good for you.”

Chester sneered again. “Yeah you are.” He said before taking the last drag and going back inside.

Mike followed him upstairs and headed to the bathroom to grab some towels. “Here, if you want to shower. Maybe you’ll feel better.”

“Thanks.” He said with a mouth full of waffles. Mike stood in the doorway, trying to think of something else to say. “Do you want to come with me to the campus? I have class at 10.”

“And do what?”

“I don’t know, hang out in the library?” Chester considered his options and agreed. Mike went back to his room, trying to hide the smile on his face.

 

After class, Mike met up with Joe in the hallway as usual. Joe told him about his night with Dave and how they made a really cool track; he wanted him to come over after school to listen to it. “OK,” he said, “but Chester’s gonna come along.”

“Oh, OK, yeah. You two are getting pretty close, huh?”

“He’s kinda lost, and he’s not from here. He’s leaving on Wednesday.”

“Alright. Maybe we can go bowling later?”

“What, I didn’t kick your ass enough last time?”

“Hey! That was a technical foul, Shinoda! I shall redeem myself this time around!” Joe said dramatically.

“Who’s Shinoda?” Chester asked as they approached him.

“It’s my last name. It’s Japanese.” Mike explained.

“Are you Japanese?”

“Yeah, my dad is.”

“Ok, yeah I can see it now.” He said, studying his facial features closer. Mike smiled.

“Joe and I are heading to the cafeteria.”

“I didn’t bring any money.” Chester said.

“I got it, don’t worry about it.”

“Mike, are you trying to buy my love? Because you won’t be able to afford me.” He joked flirtatiously.

“Hey, I can try.” Mike said with a wink.

“Whoa, I mean, as long as you’re throwing around your money, I think I’ve earned my fair share of some of that.”

“I spot you all the time Joe.” He said with a laugh.

“I know.” Joe hung his head.

 

At Joe’s apartment, the three of them waited for Dave to get off of work. Joe found the track and played it while Mike listened, impressed. “That’s pretty cool! I like the beat.”

“Me too.” Said Chaz. “It’s not like Grey Daze’s sound.”

“Have you heard from Mark?” asked Joe.

Mike sighed, frustrated. “Yeah, he’s sick. I told him to work on lyrics though, he’s not totally useless.”

“Who’s Mark?” asked Chaz.

“Our vocalist. I do back up but I’m not that good.”

“You have a band? Like, a whole band?”

“Well, kind of. Nothing official.” Said Mike. “Rob is a drummer, but we haven’t seen him play. Joe does turntable, Dave plays piano and bass, Brad and I play guitar, and then Mark sings while I do back up and rap.”

Chester laughed. “You RAP?”

Mike smiled. “Yeah, I rap.” Chester only laughed more.

“Hey, he’s good! You should hear him!” Joe defended his friend.

“Maybe someday. That’s hilarious.” Mike rolled his eyes at him.

Dave walked through the door to a loud greeting; he met Chaz and left to get ready for the bowling alley. Chester said he wasn’t that good, but Mike assured him it was all for fun anyways; he didn’t know that Chester was only making him think he wasn’t any good.


	6. Chapter 6

The game was tied between Mike and Chester, with Dave close behind. They had been playing for two hours now, betting on who bought the next round of fries. While Joe took his turn, Chester answered his phone to a call that he didn't seem too happy about. He cursed under his breath after he hung up and announced he was going out for a cigarette. Mike told the guys he was going out with him. "What was that about?" Mike asked.

Chester shook his head. "Nothing."

"Something."

"My roommate is in the hospital, he won't be home to let me in tonight."

"So? Crash at my place again."

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you planned this. Did you poison my roommate?" he teased.

"Yes, I confess. I snuck over in the middle of the night to your roommate's house and put arsenic in his water. I steal you for another day."

"I thought as much." Chaz took a drag and smiled. "So can we drink tonight?"

"Sure, I don't care."

"OK. Whoever wins this game gets to pick what we do tonight."

"Sounds fair."

They went back inside, and though Mike didn't back down from his game, Chaz put everything into his; in the end, Chaz came out on top, winning by a strike. Mike was a bit nervous, wondering what turn their night would take. They said goodbye to their friends and stopped by a gas station for their alcohol on their way home. Mike couldn't help the stir of excitement he felt around his newest friend. He still wondered about the tattoo on his finger. Maybe he could get the answer out of him?

Chaz asked to borrow pajamas from Mike; he gave him a pair of Jason's since he was his size. Mike took his clothes and washed them for him while they went through his music collection. "Damn, I guess you grew up on rap."

"Yeah, but I like all kinds of music. I'm really getting into rock too, there's some interesting stuff coming out."

"What'd you think of my band?"

"I told you what I thought."

"What do you _really_ think?"

Mike contemplated his answer. "I thought the sound was OK, a little bland. But the singer was amazing."

Chester chuckled. "You liked my performance Mikey?"

That was the second time he had called him that, Mike noticed; he wasn't disappointed. "I did. You sing like it's in your soul, I admire that."

Chester nodded. "Alright. Thanks, I appreciate that." He chose an album and put it in the boom box in the living room, surprising Mike when he knew the words. "I thought rap was laughable." he commented.

"No, YOU rapping is laughable. Not this." he teased. Mike punched his arm playfully.

They went to the kitchen to freshen their drinks and Chester asked if he had ice cream. Mike produced two ice cream sandwiches from the freezer and handed one to Chester, who began to lick the sides. Mike watched, reminded of the one time he had gotten a blow job from a drunk chick at a high school party, instantly reminded of his cock tease girlfriend. He turned away and ate his sandwich. As if he had read his mind, Chester asked "Hey, have you ever had a blow job from a chick after she ate ice cream?"

"No, is that a thing?" Mike asked, smirking.

"Fuck dude, it feels amazing. It's like, ice cold but then her mouth warms it after awhile...Mmm. Fucking hot." Chester smiled fondly at the memory.

"Nope. The only blow job I've ever had was from a chick at a party. It was sloppy and I'm not sure she knew what she was doing but it didn't take much anyways."

"Uh, how long ago was that?"

"I don't know, a year and a half maybe?"

"You've gotten laid since then though, right?"

"My girlfriend isn't one of those who puts out right away."

"How long have you two been together?"

"It will be 7 months in a week."

Chester almost choked on his beer. "And you haven't fucked her? Damn Mike! Tap that already!"

Mike laughed. "I've tried, bro. She's not gonna cave easily."

"I'm sure you've got some smooth moves. You could convince her given the right time. You should get her into bed on your anniversary, chicks dig that shit. Make it all romantic with candlelight, give her flowers, whatever. Make it happen. Test drive before you buy, trust me."

"Like you have experience?"

"I'm married, bro, I have experience."

"You're what?" Mike tried to sound surprised. "You're only 20 years old!"

"The heart knows what it wants. Or rather, it did. It's not going the way I planned."

"I got that feeling since you are here and didn't plan to go home until you got a gig."

"That was partially because I don't have money to get back home. Partially because I don't really want to go back."

"Why not?"

Chester was quiet, staring at the wall deep in thought before he answered. "Different reasons. Several reasons." he answered quietly. He had gone to a dark place; he wasn't the happy guy Mike had just been speaking to.

"Well, you aren't there now, you're here. Let's watch a movie."

 

They settled on Star Wars and turned the lights off. Mike was feeling the beer, making the movie more interesting than before as the drones flew around. They laughed excessively loud and at little things; they stopped the movie halfway through and went upstairs when Mike mentioned he had drawn the death star, intriguing Chester with his art skills.

Mike took out his sketchbook and flipped through it to find the picture. Chester took the book and skimmed through the other drawings. “Wow, these are amazing!” he complimented.

Mike sat lazily in his desk chair. “Yeah, I guess school pays offs.” He laughed.

Chester chuckled then stopped when he came to the most recent page, angling it to study it better. Mike looked at him with his drunken smile and noticed the confused look on his friend’s face. “What? He asked.

“Is this…you drew me?”

Oh shit, Mike thought. “Uh, heh, yeah. Once.” He swallowed hard, embarrassed. 

“Why?”

“I-I don’t know, really. You were on my mind I guess.” Mike was still too drunk to think straight.

Chester looked at the picture again, then at Mike; suddenly he leaned in quickly and kissed him. Mike was shocked but couldn’t move, pinned in the chair with Chester leaning on the arms. When he pulled away Mike just stared at him, confused how he felt. The older man bit his own lip before kissing him again as he went to his knees.

“Do you think about me often Mikey?” he asked with a sultry tone, his hands running up Mike’s legs.

“I…uh…” his mind was rushing, confusing, distracted by what Chester was doing to him. What was going on?

Chester smiled and tugged at his belt, unbuckling and then unzipping. A small voice in Mike’s head said he should stop him, Chester was a man, he wasn’t gay! But the rest of him was enjoying it, even a little turned on. Before he knew it his dick was in his hands and Chester was licking the tip; Mike’s head rolled back as he relaxed. His friend jerked him until he was hard and as soon as his lips closed around him Mike moaned loudly. While he went to work on him the younger man started panting, bucking when he took him deep.

“Oh fuck Chaz, you’re gonna make me cum!” he warned, but Chester only continued; Mike shot his hot liquid into his throat, his tongue caressing the pulsing vein underneath. Mike felt him swallow around him before he cleaned him off. As he put himself away his head rushed to try and catch up with the recent events, tried to make sense of the emotions running through him; excitement, confusion, relief.

“Damn.” Was all he could manage to say.

“Yeah? I’d never done that before, but you know, being a guy and all, I figured I had a bit of an advantage.”

“How did that even happen?”

“Well first I opened your belt…” he started sarcastically.

“Shut up. Why?”

Chaz just chuckled at him. “Stop overthinking it Mike. You liked it, right?”

“Yeah…I think so.”

“So get over it. Any man’s gonna like a warm mouth. Just relax.”

“Shit, Anna…”

“Has she ever sucked you?”

“No.”

“Has she even touched you?”

Mike looked at the floor. “No.”

“Then fuck her. A man’s got needs, and she’s just playing with you. Get yourself a real woman. I’m going down for a smoke.”


	7. Chapter 7

The next day Mike dropped Chester off before school. He caught up with Joe and they talked about their projects due by Friday. Mike tuned in and out, recollecting last night’s events. He got a call from Anna but he let it go to voicemail; he still wasn’t sure how he felt about her now.

After class Mike rushed to his car in hopes of seeing Chester but he had no such luck. He sat in his car and listened to the voicemail she had left; she wanted him to come over for dinner tonight, something important she said. Mike rolled his eyes and considered his options; he didn’t want to disappoint his family, he’d have to go. Until he broke up with her he’d have to play the part.

He greeted his parents and brother who had returned from their trip and showered before leaving for Anna’s house. He was dreading dinner, knowing he’d have to kiss their ass and pretend he loved her; at least her mother was a great cook.

He rang the doorbell and was greeted by Anna with a hug and kiss on his cheek. “You look nice!” she said, ignoring the fact that he had spiked his hair. Mike nodded and followed her into the dining room where her mother was setting the table. He asked if he could help, and she handed him the rest of the silverware; Anna left to the kitchen to help bring out food.

During their meal Mike made polite small talk with her parents, explaining his progress with the Art Institute and how his parent’s trip to visit colleges with his brother had gone. Her father was happy he had brought up the subject of college. He announced they would be moving next month to North Carolina, he had been transferred to oversee the branch of his company there. Anna would be attending Duke and could fly out to California to see Mike during her breaks if she pleased. Mike was shocked, this news came completely out of left field. When he mentioned about Anna traveling to see him he knew they weren’t strong enough to last through a long-distance relationship.

After dinner Anna invited him to walk to the park; Mike accepted, wary of her intentions. They walked together in silence for a moment before she started. “So what do you think of my dad’s news?”

He was now at a crossroads; he could lie to her to make her feel better, or he could be honest and let her go the way he wanted to. He decided to play it out, see where it led. “It’s…. definitely unexpected.”

“I know, right? He told us last night. I was really upset at first you know, because I don’t want to leave my friends, or you. I’ve lived here for 17 of my 19 years, I’m not used to change. I think after a while though it could be good. I mean, Duke is a really good school.”

“It is.”

“And North Carolina has beaches.”

“It does.”

They reached the park and found a picnic table, sitting across from each other. “You’re doing that thing again with your vague answers.”

Mike took a second to mentally prepare for what she could come back with. “I think we should break up.” He waited for her to react, her face changing from insulted to upset before settling on confused.

“Break UP? Why?”

“Anna, think about it. We’ve been together almost 7 months and we haven’t even slept together yet, which is fine, I’m not asking you to; but you seem so bored when I’m with you that there are times I would rather be elsewhere.”

“I’m not bored with you Mike, I’ve just been bogged down with school work.”

“I’m not your type. You want a guy that will spoil you and take you wherever and not care that you like living on daddy’s money. I want independence, I don’t care about the money. I want to make a difference, I want to have fun and enjoy my life, even if I’m poor. You aren’t willing to give up your comfortable life for that. It’s OK, I totally understand. Adult life is scary, but I’m ready to embrace it.”

Anna was speechless. Mike waited for a response but he had dealt her a truth even she wasn’t aware of. He smiled, the relief settling in; he was free of her. “I’m not upset, I realize we got comfortable with each other; but we aren’t happy with each other. I mean, really be honest with yourself and tell me, are you?”

She worked through what he was saying, concluding that he was right after all. She admitted she hadn’t felt warm fuzzy feelings for him for some time but passing it off as just a phase. Mike asked if she saw them staying faithful to each other from across the country and she said no. They hugged and walked back to the house; she said she’d talk to her dad and she wished the best for him. “Some girl is going to be really lucky someday when she finds you.”

Mike smiled, hugged her once more and got in his car to drive home; he came to the stop sign he was supposed to turn left at, but it occurred to him that if he turned right instead he could drive by Chaz’s place. He would be leaving tomorrow, he wasn’t sure when; maybe he could make his last night in Agoura one to remember?

 

He parked in the drive way and tried to think of what he would say. What if Chaz didn’t want to see him? What if he had already left? There was only one way to find out. He knocked on the door of the two-bedroom ranch and waited for an answer, but none came. He could hear the TV, guessing whoever had been watching it had fallen asleep. Mike walked around to look for a light; there was one in the back bedroom window. He looked around and saw no one, creeping around the side of the house to peer inside.

Chaz was sitting on the bed, shirtless, writing in a notebook with a lit cigarette. His eyes closed as he took a drag and exhaled; there was an instant stirring in Mike’s lower half as the attraction made itself known. He knocked just loud enough not to scare the older man. Chaz looked around before realizing it came from the window, smiling when he noticed his visitor.

He opened the window and stepped aside so Mike could climb through. “What are you doin’ here?” he asked, amused. There was an instant fire between them, sexual tension thick in the air.

“You’re leaving tomorrow.” 

“Yeah?”

“I broke up with Anna.”

“Really?”

Mike nodded, inching closer as he said “I had to come see you, I couldn’t let you leave without kissing you again.” Their lips touched, opening a door Mike hadn’t anticipated.

He led him to the bed, coercing him into lying down while he climbed on top, their lips crashing together in heated passion. Mike laid flat over him, grinding into his leg with a full hard on. “I thought you weren’t gay?” Chaz asked.

“I’m not, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” Mike replied quickly.

“Me either. I wanted to come see you after you got out of class but I didn’t want to make it weird.”

“Am I making this weird?”

“No! This is hot! I just, didn’t think you’d react this way.” He said, his hand beginning to roam down to his ass. “You were kinda freaked out last night after I sucked you dry.”

“I dreamt about it last night, woke up with sticky boxers. Realized I liked it more than I thought.”

“What a waste. I would have gladly taken that load.”

“I plan to make up for that tonight.” Mike reached down between them and grabbed Chaz’s pulsing erection. “You want me to go down on you first?”

“Just for a minute, then you can put it in me.” He said, almost with a moan. The younger boy kissed him and bit his lip, kissing and nipping from his neck down his skinny body to his belt which was quickly removed by Chaz himself. Mike wasted no time getting him into his mouth and exploring his southern region. He tugged and rubbed his balls, holding them in his hands while Chaz moaned; he pushed against his perineum, using his saliva to wet the path to his hole as he inched closer.

“Fuck Mikey, stop. I want to feel you inside me.”

“Shut that whore mouth, you’re gonna make me cum before I even get there!” he demanded.

Chaz ripped off Mike’s shirt and fumbled with his pants, pushing his jeans and boxers down before turning his back to him and getting on all fours. “Damn Chaz, you look so good.”

“Less talking, more fucking!” he pleaded.

Mike laid his cock between his cheeks and reached around to the other mans’ mouth, wetting his fingers before toying with his rear. Chester moaned and moved along them, shuddering each time Mike spread his fingers apart to loosen him. He asked if he was ready, barely receiving a response before he spat on his hand and lubed his phallus with it, pushing in slowly at first.

“More!” Chester demanded.

“I don’t want to hurt you Chaz.”

“I’m fine, just get it in Mikey!”

Mike swallowed and pushed harder, deeper; he knew he wasn’t going to last long. Chaz was so tightly wrapped around him, his smooth silk walls felt so good on his fuck stick. Chaz felt him pulsing already; he pushed against him while pumping his own dick in time with Mike’s thrusts. “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” he crooned, giving his lover the edge he needed to release his hot liquid inside him; Chester came, listening to Mike’s loud pleasure.

 

After they cleaned themselves up they laid in bed, shirtless and talked about their plans for the week. Mike turned on his side to look at Chester. “Is this the last time I’m going to see you?”

“For a while at least, but not indefinitely. Cali has a huge music scene. I’m here a few times a year.”

"What about your wife? Won't she be mad you cheated on her?"

"It's a normal thing. We're so fed up with each other at this point, I'm sure she's cheated on me plenty of times while I've been away; the difference is she charges to pay for drugs."

"Why would you live like that? Why not just get a divorce?"

"We can't afford it."

Mike couldn't imagine having to live with someone he couldn't stand. He wished he could fix Chaz's situation, but knew he wouldn't accept his help anyways. "At least I have your number, we can keep in touch."

"Yeah, sure." Chaz said as he reached into his pocket for his cigarette pack and lighter.


	8. Chapter 8

A month later Mike packed boxes from his room. The semester was over and the next day he went out apartment hunting. His last name was very well known in the small town of California, so when he finally decided to fill out an application for the apartment of his choice they practically gave him the keys right away. He wasn’t picky, all he cared about was that it was a reasonable distance from his school, had at least one bedroom and working appliances and water. His father offered to spot him for the deposits and first month’s rent, but Mike had been saving and could cover it on his own; this made his father very proud.

He opened the door to his apartment for the first time, standing in the middle of the living room and taking it all in; he was finally on his own! Free from judgement, free from pleasing his parents with every move he made, free to make mistakes; the feeling was enlightening. Dave, Joe, Brad and even Rob were helping him move in, interrupting his moment of realization when they entered with boxes. “Where are we going with this stuff?” asked Brad.

“They’re all marked, most of it goes in my room but leave room for my bed.”

“What about the keyboard?” asked Joe.

“Um, put it here for now. Here, I’ll take that.” He said to Dave. Things went smoothly, only taking three hours to move everything he owned in. As they were dragging the mattress out of the truck, a delivery truck arrived and asked for Mike; Mike signed and was shocked when they unloaded a new couch and love seat. “Dad just doesn’t take no for an answer.” He said to his friends as he shook his head.

That night they ordered pizzas and watched TV but not for long since they were all exhausted. Once they had all left Mike laid down on the couch and went over the day. He checked his phone and, just like every time, there were no missed calls from Chester. Mike opened his contact list and searched for his name, hovering over the dial button; what the hell, right? He thought, hitting the green button. He listened to it ring but got no answer, disappointing him a little. The voicemail beeped and he said “Hey Chaz, just wanted to let you know I’m all moved into my new place, it’s pretty awesome. Just called to say hi and…well, I wish you were here. Call me.” He closed his phone and went to bed.

 

The next day Mike slept in as long as his stomach allowed him, realizing he barely had any food; he’d have to go shopping. He dragged himself out of bed and grabbed one of the granola bars his mother had insisted he take and a glass to pour water into. He went back to his room and ate on the bed, glancing at his phone to see it blinking. He flipped it open and checked, excited when he saw a call from Chester; he had even left a voicemail! He listened to him inform him of a show they’d be doing that evening in Arizona, how he’d love to see him if he could make it. Mike checked his watch; if he left in the next two hours he could make it to the show, though he’d be exhausted from a nonstop 7 hour drive. Was it worth it? he asked himself; fuck yeah it was.

Mike ran to shower and pack an overnight bag. He quickly called Joe to see if he’d want to go with him, who of course accepted; Joe loved road trips. Mike said he’d need to be ready in an hour. He then called his dad and asked for money, claiming it was for items he needed for the apartment; his father didn’t hesitate to hand over $400. Mike thanked him for the cash and the couches and left to pick up his friend. Joe came out of his apartment with an overnight bag and a bag of snacks for the road. “Do we really need all this stuff?” Mike asked.

“We won’t have to stop for fast food this way! Trust me, you’ll thank me four hours in.”

“Fine. We’ll stop for gas and get some drinks, then we’re out.”

 

Chester stood outside tonight’s venue and lit a cigarette, checking his phone as he inhaled the drug. There was nothing, not since last night’s message; that message made Chester smile in a way he hadn’t in a long time and Mike had no idea how badly he needed that smile.

His marriage with his wife Sam hadn’t improved, not even a little. They argued all the time, Chester spent more nights on the couch than he did in his own bed; it was fine though, he told himself, it’s not like he could sleep anyways. Instead he drank himself to the point of passing out and woke up in the morning to his wife yelling again. She knew he was a musician when they got together, and in the beginning she loved it but not now, not when they were living in a shack because she refused to work and he always quit the jobs he took. 

His guitarist told him it was almost time to take the stage; he killed the cigarette and went inside to perform. That night he sang with all the pain in his heart, using music as his therapy the way he always did. Sometimes it helped, other times it made it worse; it was all about the headspace. This time though, he imagined he was only singing to Mike, the only happy thing he had going on in his life. “What’s in me is in you. What’s got me has got you. And everything told must come true. Pretending who you are, forgetting who you are.” He sang. God if only he were here, he thought.

 

Mike and Joe finally got to the venue, a slum bar in a questionable part of town; they could hear the music outside in the parking lot. Mike opened the door as Chaz was singing _In Time_ , the surge of excitement touching every point of his body and making him smile foolishly. It had been a whole month since he had seen him, since he had heard his velvet voice; he felt like he had found a lost part of him.

Mike and Joe went to a corner to watch. Joe noticed Mike was fidgety and seemed to be paying close attention to the show. “Gee Mike, I didn’t know you liked them so much.”

“They grow on you.”

“How did you know they’d be here?”

“Chaz called me. It’s been awhile since I saw him, we’re in between semesters, figured it’d be fun to come.”

“Do you see where we are?” Joe asked, but Mike didn’t hear him, his voice drowned out by the cheering from the crowd as the song ended. Chester said they’d play one more song, said a few things about it and played. Mike asked Joe if he wanted a soda, Joe declined and instead left for the bathroom. Mike leaned against his upward hand, admiring the man on the stage. For just a moment he imagined what it would be like to perform with him, to play the keyboard while he graced the microphone. His voice had so much potential…

The song ended, Mike left the table and B-lined for the stage exit. He waited anxiously for them to come out and when he finally did he looked so down, so unhappy. Mike couldn’t bear it, so he rushed to put a smile on his face. He grabbed his arm to get his attention and then put his hands on his shoulders. “Hey.” He said as Chazs’ deep brown eyes met his. The look of relief that came over his face touched his heart.

“Mikey? You’re here!” he said, bringing his voice from what seemed like a whimper to excitement as he took in the man in front of him.

“I’m here!” They hugged tightly, appropriately for their surroundings. “I needed you today.” Chester whispered in his ear; Mike hugged tighter.

“We need to find Joe, I kind of ditched him, again.” He said with a guilty shrug.

Chester smiled. “You’re so cute. Let’s find your friend.” They went back to the table where Joe was waiting. “JOSEPH! Oh thank god we’ve found you! We’ve been searching EVERYWHERE for you!” Chester said dramatically, making Mike giggle.

“I’ve been here for like, 5 minutes. I grabbed a soda.”

“You want to trade that in for a beer?” Chaz offered.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll get some at the after party.” He replied with a wink.

Chaz chuckled. “It won’t be much of an after party. Are you guys staying overnight?”

“We planned to, we haven’t gotten a room yet.” Mike explained.

“Oh shit, you came straight to the show? Damn guys, thanks!”

 

Chester took them to the most decent hotel they had in the area and walked to the nearby gas station to buy beers while they checked in. Mike waited for him in the lobby; Joe thought it was excessive to have their own rooms but Mike insisted, it was his treat he said.

Chester came through the doors and Mike broke into the cheesiest grin. “Is that a sock in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Chaz whispered when he got close enough, earning them strange looks from the front desk clerk. They laughed and found the elevator.

The second the doors closed Mike kissed the older man, their tongues dodged into each other’s mouth quickly as much as possible before they reached the third floor. Mike fixed his hat and led him to where their rooms were located; he had lucked out, getting rooms that were separated from each other by four rooms. He knocked on Joe’s door and walked to his own room, knowing the other Asian would join them shortly.

“Do we have to invite him?” Chester whined close to his ear. “I have plenty of ideas to wear you out.”

Mike gave a breathy laugh. “I bet you do, but he knows you were coming back, he’ll be waiting for us.” Chester gave him a disappointed pout as he walked past him into the room. “Don’t make me come over there and bite that lip.” Mike threatened; Chester grabbed his own crotch in response.

Joe opened the door and joined the party; Mike let it go on for an hour and a half before feigning that he was worn out from the trip. Chester said he was leaving, but they had already planned that he’d go down the elevator for a smoke before coming back upstairs where Mike would leave his door unlocked.

While he waited for him to return, the younger man paced. He lowered the room temperature, he finished his beer, he checked his appearance; and just when he thought he wasn’t coming back the door opened. “Oh good you’re here.” He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Chaz flashed a gorgeous smile, humored by his nervousness. “You thought I was going to leave?”

“I had considered it a possibility.” He said with a shy smile.

“Mikey, I needed you to be here tonight so badly, I wasn’t sure you’d show. I didn’t want to sound desperate on the phone but…” Mike cut him off with his lips, stealing his breath. Chaz pushed his fingers into his hair and tugged when Mike’s hands ran over his body. Chaz hadn’t felt so wanted since the day he married his wife two years ago, the familiar feeling of testosterone taking over. He walked the young man backwards to the bed as they stripped, their lips never parting.

They were completely naked now, Chester lying on top of Mike, letting their erections grind against each other. Chester went down, eyeing his cock hungrily before taking it into his mouth. Mike let the warmth from Chaz’s mouth flow through his body, much more comfortable with it this time around. He flicked at his slit and sent chills through his body. “Ah baby, yeah.” He whispered.

“You taste so good Mikey.” Chaz complimented as he straddled him, aligning his opening with his member. Mike gripped his protruding dick and jerked it slowly while he pushed his way down. He focused on his face, the struggle to keep himself quiet apparent in the loss of color in the lip he was biting.

“You like that baby? You like it when I fill you like that?” he crooned.

“Oh my god, it feels so, ugh, amazing!” he moaned through his teeth.

“Ride me til you cum Chazzy, squeeze me tight like you did the first time!” His sexy, heated whispering was driving Chester crazy; Mike pumped him faster but as his own orgasm began to creep up on him he grabbed the man’s hips in his hands and thrust up into him, finding the perfect spot for the first time.

“OH FUCK! THERE, THERE, THERE!” Chaz begged. Mike knew he should remind him to be quiet but he had to bite his own lip to keep from letting go of a moan in his throat. He hit it over and over, digging his nails into Chaz's skin and losing it as his beautiful face twisted in pleasure, his seed shooting all over his stomach and his ass gripping his own dick tight.


	9. Chapter 9

That weekend Mike had the group gather at his apartment. He had been calling Mark all week, leaving voicemails with no response; this aggravated him because in order for their band to work they needed a vocalist.

Mike announced he wanted to make their band a serious thing. “We’re all smart, talented guys with a passion for music, and I feel we can get somewhere with it.”

“This has nothing to do with your singer friend, does it?”

“No, well, not directly. Going to these shows just drives me even more. I want to be the one on that stage being cheered for. I want to share our talent, but I need you guys to be in it with me.” As he finished his sentence Mark walked in.

“Hey guys! How’s it going?” he greeted cheerily.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all week!” Mike said, frustrated.

“I have shit to take care of, OK? I was out of town Tuesday and Wednesday. Sorry.”

Mike shook his head. “Well, if you’re gonna be a part of this, you’re going to have to be more obtainable. We were discussing the option of making the band a serious thing.”

“No shit? Alright guys! Let’s do this!”

“I’m all for it, but you know I have my tour coming up in three months. What then?” Dave reminded.

“We’ll work around it. We’ll just have to get all your stuff recorded before then. We’ll start making demo’s, I’m going to buy a new computer soon. We can all pitch in for recording supplies, mics and amps and whatever. I can rent some of it from the shop, it’ll be cheaper that way. Joe and I can work on a cover image, but what about a name?”

“We’ll need something that stands out. Maybe with an odd beginning letter.”

They tossed around ideas, wrote down five they liked and put them in a hat. Brad drew the lucky paper and read it aloud. “Xero. Hmm, Xero…I like it!” he said with excitement.

“Alright! When do we want to meet? I’m open.” Mike offered.

“How about Monday? You can find out what you can rent when you go to work tomorrow.” Rob said.

“Maybe I can talk my parents into letting us jam in their basement? The empty theater is sound proof.”

“That’s a fantastic idea Brad!” Mike complimented.

 

Dave and Mike went that afternoon to purchase the new computer. They bought two packs of blank CDs and CD cases, the excitement of a new project keeping them in a good mood. Mike gathered all their lyrics and copied them into a fresh notebook, keeping them together rather than scattered around. By the end of the next month they had their demo down. Joe went to campus and handed them out to students, left some at a few gas stations and gave some to friends; Mike and Rob kept a set at the music store too.

At their next practice, Mike stopped them before getting their instruments set up. “Guys, I sent our demo to record labels.” They were all surprised, not expecting things to go so fast. “I haven’t heard anything back yet, but they’re on their way.”

That night on the phone with Chester he told him the news; he was excited for him and thought the image of him with a guitar was hot. “I didn’t know you were multi-talented outside of bed too!” he said, making Mike laugh.

“Chaz, can I ask you something I’ve been wondering about?”

“Of course babe.”

“I never really asked, but are you gay? It doesn’t matter to me, but you’re married…”

“Love is love to me. You’re the first guy I’ve ever…well, ever wanted to be with.” There was a hint of something darker in his confession, but he didn’t know how Mike would handle that truth.

“So you’re into girls too?”

“Yeah. My wife and I don’t sleep together anymore if that’s where you’re going with this.”

“It wasn’t my initial purpose, but it’s good to know.”

“You like girls too, don’t you?”

“I’m attracted to them, sure. I’ve never slept with one, though.”

“Wait, did I take your virginity?”

Mike paused, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah.” He finally admitted.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know.” Chester said, taken back. “It’s what you wanted though, right?”

“It was completely consensual, Chaz.” He said, chuckling.

“I’m serious, I didn’t coerce you in any way, right?” The memory of when his virginity was taken from him flooded his mind as he tried to contain his anxiety.

“Oh, there was coercion, but I loved every second of it.” Mike noticed the change in his tone. “What’s wrong?”

Chester paused, trying to calm his heart rate. “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure. It…it means a lot to me that you gave me that.”

Mike smiled and laughed softly. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He thought it was sweet that he valued it. “So, when are you going to come see me again?”

“Ugh, I wish I could come tomorrow. I miss you so much. I don’t know when we’ll be back in Cali, to be honest. Sean and I haven’t been getting along too well lately.”

“Oh, no?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll tell me though, when you are?”

“You’ll be the first to know.” He promised. They said their goodnights and hung up.


	10. Chapter 10

An entire year went by filled with birthdays, graduations for Joe, Brad and Mike, and constant improvements made to their songs. Mike had a filing cabinet now of stored tracks, songs that hadn’t been developed yet. He and Chester still kept in touch but not as often; his wife had taken to destroying his phone every time she saw him on it, making it even more difficult for him to find time to talk.

Mark had left the band entirely just a few weeks ago; each practice always ended up in a heated argument between him and Mike. Mark kept trying to take over the band and tried to steer it into a direction Mike didn’t want to go, so Mark threw a fit. Eventually Mike just kicked him out. Without a singer they couldn’t perform, but they kept up the practices anyways.

 

One day during a normal Thursday afternoon, Mike, Joe and Brad were hanging out at his apartment when Mike got a phone call. He answered with a mouth full of popcorn, assuming it was a sales call. He nearly choked when the caller told him he was with Warner Brothers. He signaled to the guys to keep quiet and quickly found a notebook and pen to write down the meeting time they were assigned. He thanked the caller and hung up, letting the shock take over.

“Who was that?” Joe probed.

“That was a guy named Jared with…with Warner Brothers.” He said, still dazed. His friends grew overcome with excitement, asking when they were meeting and what he thought of the demo. “I don’t know, he didn’t say. He wants to have an introduction meeting.” Suddenly he remembered their predicament. “Oh shit, we need a vocalist.”

“Should we try to get Mark back?” suggested Brad.

“Fuck Mark. We can do better.” Said Mike.

 

The meeting went well; Mike was completely nervous showing up without both a vocalist and their bassist. Fortunately, Jared thought it was a good sign that Dave was getting the experience of tour, though he stressed they’d need to lock him in before he left them completely. He asked what their plans were as far as replacing their vocalist and Mike lied and said they would be holding auditions in a few days. “Good. Find one and spend every minute practicing. I’ll book you a show this Saturday, we’ll see how you do.”

“Where?” Mike asked.

“You ever heard of the Whiskey A-Go-Go?” Jared asked sarcastically; of COURSE they had heard of it. They thanked him for his time and left to celebrate and strategize. 

“What do we do?” Joe asked frantically and excitedly.

“I might have an idea.” Mike offered.

“We’re open! We need something!” Rob agreed.

“What if I could get Chaz to join us? At least for this show? Last I heard he was on the fence with his band.”

“Yeah…yeah definitely! He’s got a killer voice!” said Joe.

 

That night Mike called his friend; it went straight to voicemail and Mike hung up, trying to think what to say. Before he could call back Chester beat him to it. “Hey Chazzy!”

“Fuck is it good to hear your voice. How’ve you been?”

“Good, really good. Great actually.”

“Great?”

“We got a call from WB. They’re setting up a show for us next Saturday at the Whiskey!”

“That’s so amazing Mikey!” Chester said, warming Mike’s heart at the mention of his nick name. “Did you find a replacement?”

“Well, there’s this guy we’re thinking about asking. He’s really talented, he’s already in a band. He lives kind of far, but we’re really hoping he says yes. Oh, and he has the sexiest ass I’ve ever seen.”

“Say no more, email me the tracks, I’ll be there.”

 

Saturday night came faster than they anticipated. They had been practicing tirelessly, communicating back and forth with Chester via phone and email. When he sent them his final recordings they were blown away; Mike’s raps went perfectly with Chester’s passionate voice and screams. The changes he made to Papercut were exactly what they had been trying to accomplish. Friday Mike and Brad drove the 7 hours to pick up Chester and headed home the same day, leaving Saturday morning to sleep before the show. They’d be winging it without a full band practice prior, but they were ready.

Their set list consisted of Reading my Eyes, With You, Papercut, High Voltage and ended with One Step Closer. The crowd was insane! It had been everything Mike had thought it would be; he was nervous at first but by the middle of the set it came naturally. With Chester by his side, and the rest of his friends behind him, he felt indestructible.

That night when he finally got Chester alone, Mike conveyed how grateful he was for his help, how amazing he thought he was and how much he cared about him. They made love without restraint and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

Jared called Mike the following Monday to say he had spoken with a manager about their music and referred them for a meeting. They were scheduled to come in Wednesday at three in the afternoon. Mike didn’t hesitate to tell him they’d be there, then called the other members. Brad called a band meeting that night and discussed the option of changing their name. They thought about what their music truly was, what it said about them; in the end, they chose Hybrid Theory.

Wednesday came; Mike showed up early. He brought everything, including a copy of the demo and their lyrics. The guys all showed up at 2:30 except for Dave who had gone back on the road to finish touring; he’d be back in town in three days. A woman walked to the receptionist desk and was handed a file. Mike watched her, intrigued; there was something vaguely familiar about her but he couldn’t see her face clearly. 

She turned and began walking towards them slowly, familiarizing herself with their file. It took him a second to recall who she was; Mike elbowed Brad. “Holy shit, it’s Jenny!” he whispered.

“Who?” Brad whispered back, but she approached them before Mike could answer.

Jenny read the file on the new band she’d be escorting to the meeting with Dan. They were from her home town Agoura Hills, which was unusual but not unheard of since they were located in California. They played nu-metal, there was a rapper and a singer, six members? That’s a little excessive, she thought. She ran through the list of names: Brad Delson, Joe Hahn, Chester Bennington, Mike Shi…Mike Shinoda? He heart stopped.

She looked up, staring right into the eyes of her childhood best friend.


	11. Chapter 11

The band stood as she approached them; she stopped reading and looked up from the file with a strange look on her face. Was it panic? Was she freaked out? She looked directly at Mike, tears filling her eyes as she weakly spoke his name. “Mike?”

She closed the file and they hugged for what seemed like minutes, leaving the band to look at each other with confusion. Brad racked his brain for any recollection of Mike telling him about a girl named Jenny; he seemed to remember him telling him about a girl he used to be friends with when he was younger, was it nine years old? She lived in his neighborhood down the street, used to walk past his house every day after school until one day he stopped her to talk. They had been friends for 6 years until one day when they were 15 she just disappeared; Mike had begged her father to put out a missing person report but he never would. “She’s old enough to take care of herself now. I’m done with that rebellious brat.” He’d said in a drunken stupor. Mike had never forgiven himself for not trying harder.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her with a smile.

“I’m in A&R.” she replied, clearly now in a dream state.

“That’s amazing!” Mike said. Brad cleared his throat to interrupt. “Oh, sorry. Uh, guys, this is Jenny, we used to be really good friends like, years ago. Jenny this is…” he explained, going down the line of band members. They stared at each other for a moment before she took a deep breath and told them they could follow her down the hall. Chester eyed Jenny up and down as he walked behind her, trying to decide if she was a threat or not; Mike was at her heels, trying to ask her how she’d gotten into the business. “That’s a story for another time.” She told him with a smile as they reached the doorway of the meeting room; great, more mystery Chester thought. She was definitely a threat.

The meeting was shorter than they expected, leaving them on edge from all the questions on the spot and left with a vague answer. Mike had managed to put aside the excitement of his reunion long enough to be assertive during the meeting, but now that it was over he was obviously distracted.

“Should we regroup later?” Chester asked the other members, nodding to Mike who was looking around trying to spot Jenny.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Joe said with a smile. “It’s not like Mike’s going to be of any use to us.”

“What?” Mike asked, hearing his name.

“We’ll get together later.” Rob said, patting his shoulder as they began to walk back down the hall to the exit.

“OK.” Mike replied. He turned to Chester and said “I’m gonna see if I can get Jenny’s number from the receptionist before we leave.” Chester nodded and went outside to smoke.

Mike approached the desk as the blonde looked up and flashed him a smiled. “How can I help you?”

“Is there any way I can get Jenny’s phone number?”

“I’m sorry, I have strict orders not to give out employee information.”

“I understand. Could you page her or something then please? So I can ask her myself?”

“Just a moment. Have a seat.” She said politely.

Mike nodded, frustrated he didn’t get a straight answer. He sat back down in the chair from earlier and tried to be patient; his mind was overwhelmed with memories of their time together. They had spent every day together, he was an escape for her. Her father was abusive, and she avoided going home as much as possible, waiting until she thought he’d be passed out. It started out with them taking walks together until one day his mother asked her to join them for dinner. She had tried to decline, nervous to be around people of a higher class, but his mother insisted, saying “If you’re going to spend so much time with my son, the least I can do is get to know you too.” After that, they’d hang out inside the house; she was allowed to come and go as if she lived there.

The night before she left she had shown up to his house as he was getting ready for bed. She had thrown rocks at his window on the second floor to get his attention. She climbed the white vine-laced fence along the side of the house to his window and crawled through. Her father had received a letter from the school about her skipping classes and had tried to beat some sense into her. She had a busted lip and held her arm close to her body.

Mike had gotten her a bag of ice for her arm and cleaned her face while she cried. “I can’t do this anymore!” She said. Mike had always admired her strength for never turning to self-harm for comfort, using music as an outlet instead.

“What do we do then?” He had asked, knowing she would never accept his offer to stay at his house. 

She looked down at the floor, her lip quivering. She sniffed and looked up, trying to stop the tears. “I don’t know.” Mike had cared deeply for her; he was heartbroken when he discovered she was missing.

"Hey." Said a soft voice, puling him from his memory.

"Hey," he responded with an instant smile, "I wanted to get your number before I left, and ask you if you're busy later."

Jenny smiled and looked to the floor. "I'll be working late tonight. I can give you my number though." They traded phones and set up their own contacts; Mike stole glances at her in between pushing buttons, taking in her long brown hair and raspberry-glossed lips, her delicate, pink-tipped fingers entering her information. He could faintly smell strawberries radiating off her. When she looked up to give back his phone she blushed. "Here. You can text message me whenever, I'll be in and out of the studio tonight."

"If I'm still up when you get off do you think I could see you?"

She smiled even more and bit her lip. "I'm off tomorrow."

Mike didn't want to wait that long, but she had to work. He tossed aside his thought to ask if he could stay and agreed to call her in the morning. They hugged once more and parted ways. 


	12. Chapter 12

Mike met Chester outside and walked to the car. In the spirit of supporting Mike's reconnection, he asked "So, Jenny huh?"

"Yeah! That was such a crazy coincidence. I never thought I'd see her again." He said as he started the car.

"Why?"

Mike explained how she had left unexpectedly, mentioning the conversation with her father. "I had considered the possibility that she was dead." He drifted off for a second, shaking his head as he brought himself back to reality to drive.

"Did you...have feelings for her?"

"We were young, I was protective of her. I'm sure there were some feelings but who knows what they really were?"

"What do you feel now?"

"Are you worried about something?"

"Yeah! I don't want her to swoop in and steal you away from me!"

Chester wasn't wrong to feel this way, Mike thought. If he were being honest, there were a whole jumble of feelings rushing through him right now. Excitement, relief, curiosity, longing. He needed to sit and process them when he had time to think, which wasn't now. "I know, Chester. I haven't seen her in a long time, and I've had a lot of questions. I don't know what to think right now, it's all rushed together. But I care about you, you are so special to me. I’m not going to let her ruin that." Mike took his hand and gave him a charming smile as he kissed the back of it.

"You better not." he grumbled.

Later that night they went out for dinner to celebrate their possible future. Rob waited until after the toast and asked "So, Chaz, are you officially in the band now or are we still looking?"

Chester looked to Mike; they had already discussed this together. "I really like the sounds, I appreciate the way you guys accept my opinions. I think I'll stay, if you'll have me." They cheered and agreed, happy to finally have a full band again.

 

Mike had tried six times to text Jenny, deleting his message every time. Why was he so nervous? Why couldn't he just send a simple invitation to come over tomorrow? He checked on Chester who was sleeping soundly in his room before trying once more. After careful consideration, he finally sent his message. It read "Hi."

He plopped on the couch in his pajamas and waited for her to reply. As he flipped through channels he grew impatient, considering calling her until his phone buzzed. He quickly checked it, finding the same two letters in response; nonetheless, it made him smile.

Mike - How is work?  
Jenny - Not bad. Just taking forever. He can't get the note right, it's all we are waiting for before we can get out.  
Mike - That sucks.

There were a few moments of painstaking silence between the two of them, making him second guess the worth of anything he could think of to fill the silence. Again, she wrote back first.

Jenny - I couldn't believe it when I saw you today.  
Mike - I know what you mean. I never thought I'd see you again.  
Jenny - Me either.  
Mike - Why did you leave? Where did you go?  
Jenny - An opportunity presented itself to me, I took it. I didn't see any other way out at the time.  
Mike - I'm glad things worked out, but I wish you would have left me some kind of clue that you were OK.  
Jenny - I know. I regret that more than you know. You were so good to me. I'm sorry.  
Mike - It's OK, I'm just happy I found you again.

They messaged back and forth for an hour before he finally got the nerve to ask her to come over.

Jenny - When are you available?  
MIke - Whenever, no plans tomorrow.  
Jenny - Is now too soon? Lol   
Mike - I remember getting shot down when I asked you to hang out after work.  
Jenny - I'm kidding. I couldn't drive the hour it would take me to get there, I'm exhausted.  
Mike - Are you off yet?  
Jenny - I'm home.  
MIke - Go sleep now, text me when you wake up.  
Jenny - You always were bossy.  
Mike - The sooner you fall asleep, then sooner you can wake up.  
Jenny - And logical. Boy if you knew the way I lived.  
Mike - I'm sure you're still the strong willed, free spirited girl I knew before.   
Jenny - I wouldn't want to disappoint you. Goodnight.

Chester felt his lover climb into bed with him, he turned to snuggle up to him, feeling his arms wrap around him. “You’re cold.” He said, half asleep.

“So warm me up.” Mike placed sweet kisses down his neck, nipping his ear as his hand reached down to his flacid member.

Chester hummed. “Mikey, I’m sleepy.”

“So go back to sleep, I’ll enjoy myself then.” His grip tightened before he pushed the blanket back and proceeded to take him into his mouth.

“Agh, mmm.” Chester squirmed under Mike’s experienced touch. He could feel him jerking himself while he pleased him, stirring him even more. He dug his nails into his shoulder and made him moan against his pulsing vein as he burst into his throat. Chester quickly moved to finish Mike off before he dirtied the sheets. Mike let out a deep, long moan as he gave him his seed. Chester swallowed and licked his lips seductively. “Delicious.”

“Whore.” Mike said between clenched teeth, pulling him by his jaw to kiss him roughly.

“Yours.” He whispered as he drew him close.

“That’s right.” Mike grabbed his ass, making him giggle before they laid back down to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Chaz sat on the couch calling his guitarist to tell him he was quitting the band. Mike was doing some spot cleaning around the apartment out of nervousness; Jenny was on her way. He made sure the dishes were cleaned and dusted before realizing he was short on beverages to offer. He looked at the clock, stressed when he realized he had no time to run to the store. “Damn!” he whispered to himself.

Chester mouthed the word “What?” to him, Mike told him the issue. He ended his call with Sean and offered to go to the store. Mike sighed with relief. “Thank you” he said, handing over some cash. After he left Mike went to the bathroom mirror to check his hair again. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself; this is crazy! He thought. She’ll be just as nervous as you are, just relax. 

But then she knocked on the door.

Mike rushed to the door, peering through the small window in the wood before answering. “Hey!” he greeted her.

She smiled at the sight of him. “Hey stranger!” she stepped into his apartment and hugged him, careful not to smack him with the bottle of wine in her hand. “I brought this, I didn’t know if you drink or not but I didn’t want to show up empty handed.”

“That’s sweet, thank you. Wait, how did you buy it?”

“I stole one of the bottles from work that we give to the visiting artists. It keeps me supplied.” She said with a wink; Mike tried to hide his blushing by taking the bottle to the kitchen. She was dressed in jean capris with flip flops and a black sleeveless top with “AFI” written on the front. She put her hands in her back pockets and leaned against the wall. “I like your place.”

“Thanks. Do you live in an apartment?”

Jenny smiled and glanced at the ground. “No. I have a house.”

“Really? That’s great! Where?”

“About 10 minutes from the studio.”

“Nice area.”

Chester returned with both soda and beers, bringing them into the kitchen. “Hey!” he greeted her.

“Hi! Chester, right?”

“Yeah.” He said, opening the box of Bud Lights to set them inside the fridge. He turned to offer her one.

“Chaz it’s only noon!” Mike chuckled, but Jenny took it anyways.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere!” she said, popping open the can.

Chester smiled. “Yeah! I like her already!” he said, grabbing one for himself.

“Are you from here?” she asked Chaz.

“Arizona.”

“Oh, OK. How did you two meet, then?” she asked. Mike and Chester looked at each other and smiled; Jenny noticed the exchange, picking up on something they hadn’t intended to show. They told her their story, leaving out the more-than-friends aspect of their relationship.

“He’s staying here for now.”

Jenny took another sip of her beer and nodded towards Chester’s left hand. “Are you married?”

Chaz looked at it and said “Oh, yeah. Technically. I guess you could say we’re separated.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that.” She said sincerely.

“Don’t be, it’s much better here.” He said with a smile over his beer. Mike noticed Jenny smiling back; there was something happening there. Did she have a crush on him?

“So, are you hungry? We haven’t had lunch yet.”

“Oh, yeah! I’m starving!” They left for lunch in her luxury Mercedes. Mike was learning the fact that she was doing very well financially; it made him happy to know things had changed for her. The image of her younger self in an over-worn shirt and jeans with holes in them flashed in his memory, saddening him for a moment.

“You OK Mikey?” Chaz asked.

Mike flashed a smile. “Yeah, I’m good.” While they ate, Jenny watched Chester stealing bites off of Mike’s plate. When he went for it a third time, Mike slapped his hand away. “You have your own plate of food!”

“But your fries taste better!” he whined. Jenny giggled; they were feeding her suspicion.

When they returned to the car, Chaz stayed outside to smoke while they sat inside. There was an awkward silence between the two of them; she glanced at him while he checked a message from Brad, her emotions stirring with memories. “I missed you.” She confessed.

Mike stopped typing and met her eyes as Chester got into the car. “So, where to?” he asked, interrupting their moment.

 

They stopped by Blockbuster to rent a movie; DVDs were the new thing, but Mike hadn’t upgraded just yet. Jenny grabbed one and said “We’ll make one more stop on the way back.” She took them to the electronics store, browsed the CDs and then surprised him when she purchased a DVD player for him.

“I can’t accept this.” He said humbly.

“Why not? It’s a gift.”

“I know, and I appreciate it but…”

She stopped him and looked directly into his eyes. ”It’s the least I can do.” Mike didn’t argue anymore. Chester watched, noting the emotion in her eyes; it was the look in her eyes that suddenly made him understand how much Mike meant to her, leaving him deep in thought the rest of the ride home.

 

They spent time catching up on minor things in life; Mike mentioned he graduated from the Art Institute, she explained what she did for a living. He asked her about some of the places she had vacationed to, which weren’t many. “Why not? I would definitely travel if I had that kind of job.”

“Cuz,” she shrugged, “It’s just me. I don’t want to vacation by myself.”

“I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t either.” Chaz offered. Again, there was a knowing smile between them. Mike wondered if Chester was just trying to make her feel comfortable in the only way he knew how.

 

After dinner, they watched their movie with popcorn, indulging in the beer. When they were getting low, Jenny decided to crack open the wine. “Where are your glasses!” she called from the kitchen. Mike got up to help her find one and to replenish. As he closed the refrigerator door, she paused her attempt to open the wine and embraced him around his torso, closing her eyes. Mike set his beer down and wrapped her in his arms. His heart began to race, recollecting memories from before when she would hug him like this for comfort. The rush between his emotions and the effect of the alcohol made him feel things for her he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“I thought you were dead.” He confessed.

“What?”

He tried his best not to get overly emotional, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from misting over. “I did, I thought your dad hurt you. I tried for weeks to get him to file a report on you, he wouldn’t do it. The police wouldn’t listen to me and my parents….” He paused, hanging and shaking his head. “I couldn’t tell my parents.”

“Oh Mike.” She said, now upset. “I’m so sorry.”

“Tell me, where did you go?”

She calmed herself and wiped her eyes before responding. “I hitch hiked my way out. I packed a bag, snuck out the front door and never looked back. I hitch hiked all the way to New Jersey.”

“New Jersey?”

“I snuck into an AFI concert and met the singer. He let me join the tour as a merch seller so I could make money.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because Mike, I didn’t plan it.” Chester was standing in the doorway of the kitchen in view, listening. “That night when I came to see you, I meant what I said. I was done, I was tired of being treated like scum from someone who was supposed to take care of me! So when I came home from school that afternoon and found him passed out, I took the money I had been saving for months and left. And besides, you and I both know you would have tried to talk me out of it.”

“Maybe not.”

“You would have, and you would have been the only one who could."

Mike went quiet, taking a minute to glance at Chester, worried what he was feeling. Chester was looking intensely at Jenny; he knew he should say something. He turned to her and said "I don't know what would have happened, what I would have said. Things went the way they did, and now we're here. That's all I care about."

Jenny gave him a sad smile and nodded, turning to Chester. "Sorry for the emo fest, Chaz."

"Don't mind me," he said. "I wish I had someone who cared about me as much as you two did when I was that age."

"Maybe I should go..." she suggested. 

"No! C'mon, don't go. We're having fun! And we haven't finished the movie!" Mike pleaded.

"Uh, yeah, we kinda did." Said Chaz. "But there's TV! And look, your wine isn't even opened yet!"

As he walked over to open it she said "If I start that I won't be able to..."

"Too late!"

"...drive home." She finished, smiling at him. "Very smooth."

Chester winked at her while he poured her a glass. "Let's get to know each other, eh?"

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this in the morning." She said, taking the glass. "I have to pee first."

Once she left the room, Mike started to say something to Chester, to apologize for their sudden breakdown, but Chester cut him off. "It's OK, Mike. I understand now." He smiled and kissed his forehead. "You are amazing."


	14. Chapter 14

Jenny passed out on the couch before Mike could offer her the bed. He grabbed a spare blanket and laid it over her before going to their room for the night. In the morning, he came out to check on her but she was already up, in the bathroom trying to contain her hair the best she could and wash her face. When she revisited the living room he offered her a glass of orange juice with a smile. “How’d you sleep?”

“Not bad. That’s a nice, comfortable couch.” She said, taking a sip.

“My dad picked it out. I’m glad you approve.”

“Did Chaz leave?”

“Uh…no. I didn’t want to wake you up so we just soldiered out the bed together.” He said, trying his best to make it sound like it wasn’t a regular thing.

“Right, soldiered it out.” She insinuated. “You don’t have any aspirin, do you?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it. Morning Chaz.” He said as the older man exited the bedroom shirtless.

“Hmm.” He grumbled, putting a cigarette in his mouth on his way out the door, shielding the sunlight.

“Hangover?” she asked Mike when he returned.

“Yeah.”

“Not you though?”

“I didn’t drink after you opened the wine.”

“So responsible.”

“You know me.” He smirked. “What are your plans today?”

“I’m calling in. There’s no way I can listen to one more minute of that guy’s off key singing with this headache. You?”

“I have two guitar lessons today, and I’ll probably have to do inventory while I’m there. I shouldn’t be gone longer than four hours I’d say.”

Jenny nodded. “OK. I’ll clear out in a few then after I wake up enough to drive.”

“I’m not kicking you out, you’re more than welcome to stay!” he said as Chester walked back inside.

“Yeah, yeah, hang for a while.”

“You sure? I mean, I don’t want to put you out.”

“I have literally nothing to do all day. Keep me company!” Chester insisted.

“See, now you have a reason not to go.” Mike said, his charm on full blast.

 

After Mike left she and Chester talked with the TV on in the background. They got on the topic of women’s fashion and Jenny was impressed with his knowledge of it. He mentioned that his wardrobe was pretty light and she jumped on the opportunity to take him shopping.

“You want to buy me clothes?” he chuckled.

“Yes! C’mon, we’ll have fun! And then we can go out for lunch. I’ll be your sugar momma for the day. We can even go to the city, hit the shops downtown. I can stop at home first and grab a shower and change out of these alcohol-infused clothes. Go, get dressed, I’m excited now!”

When they arrived at her house she gave him a quick tour. There were four bedrooms and three bathrooms, a basement and a pool with a deck for grilling in the back; Chester had never been inside such a beautiful home before. “This is amazing.” He complimented.

“I like it.” She smiled. “Here’s the remote, make yourself at home. I shouldn’t be too long.”

Chester didn’t bother with the TV, he was more interested in her enormous music collection on display on the shelves of the built-in bookshelf. There were a mixture of CDs and vinyl, ranging from Elvis to Stone Temple Pilots to TLC. He marveled at the vintage but well-kept record player on the chest of drawers next to the bookshelf. His wandering took him to the dining room and through the doorway to another room in the back with a wooden baby grand piano. He ran his fingers over the smooth ivory and triggered a note. On the walls were pictures of memories, the deed to her house, and a framed necklace. He studied its gold chain and sapphire and diamond flower setting, startled when she found him.

“Hey! Sorry, took longer than I thought.” She apologized.

“Oh, no it’s OK. I’m just snooping.” He joked.

“That was my mother’s.” she said, stepping next to him and pointing to the frame. “It’s the only physical thing I have of hers.”

“Did she die?” he asked sympathetically.

“Yeah, car accident when I was 9.”

“So, it was just you and your dad? Or do you have siblings?”

“No, just us.” She replied as her eyes drifted to the ground.

“Was he good to you?”

Jenny inhaled deeply and faked a smile. “You know, I could stand here all day and tell you about my childhood but I promised you a shopping spree.” He watched her leave the room, relating to her subject change all too well; he pushed it aside for later and followed her with a smile.


	15. Chapter 15

Jenny helped him pick outfits, taking turns trying some on. They were laughing loudly and getting rude stares from the other shoppers, but they didn’t care; it only made them laugh more. Once they finally made their selections she paid for them and made Chester go outside to smoke so he wouldn’t hear the total. They walked arm in arm back to the car parked on the street and set their purchases in the trunk, continuing to lunch. She took him to a restaurant on the top level of a building which served everything a la carte.

“Whoa! $15 for a piece of chicken?” he whispered.

“It’s REALLY good chicken.” She emphasized.

“Is it cooked in crack?”

Jenny took a sip of her soda and shrugged with raised eyebrows. “I can order for you if you can’t decide.”

“And here I was thinking I was on a lunch date with Jenny!”

“What do you mean?” she asked, humorously confused.

“That's exactly what Mike does. Whenever I take too long to make up my mind he just orders for me. He’s usually right anyways.”

Jenny raised her eyebrow. “You, uh, go out to eat together a lot?”

Chester realized he had given away too much. “Um, no. But when we do, that’s what he does.”

Jenny smiled and pressed her lips together to keep from making any further comments. The waitress stopped by their table to take their order. “Ok, well I’m getting the chicken and mac and cheese and…veggies.”

“Same.” He agreed, closing his menu and handing it over. Jenny giggled and shook her head.

Chester lit a cigarette and sat back in his chair. “Continue your story from earlier.”

“Which story?”

“About your dad. You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good lunch topic.” She replied, again with her cover-up smile.

“I want to hear it. You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

She thought about his request for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the idea; she gave in anyways, sensing he also had a troubled past. “My father…was a drug addict.” She started. She told him about the time she discovered his addiction, how once, a teacher tried to offer her help when she noticed her skipping lunch. “She’d bring me a sandwich and a cup of fruit every day; some days that was all I ate.”

Chester listened to her with a heavy heart and an open mind. He could tell she was holding something back but he didn’t blame her; he never fully opened up to strangers either, walls were necessary. As they ate, she told him about a night when her dad had kicked her out and she slept under a bridge. He shook his head and tried his best to keep his mouth shut from blurting out judgements about him.

Chester noticed she didn’t say a word about Mike in her story; he realized she was protecting her memories of him. When she finished, he asked where Mike fit into all of that. She took a minute to carefully consider her answer, setting her silverware down and folding her hands. “Mike…was, my light at the end of the tunnel. I just…” she paused, her emotions starting to get the best of her. “I came to a point where I was at the end of my rope, and without him in my life, I would have had nothing to keep me going. He’s the ONLY reason I put up with my father for as long as I did.” She looked down to breathe, her eyes closed, finishing with “Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.”

Chester gave her a moment of silence, then extended his hand on the table. Jenny took it with a warm, sad smile, meeting his sympathetic eyes. “See, look, you’ve made me all blubbery now.” She teased.

Chester smiled. “Thank you for sharing with me.” She took a tissue from her purse and dabbed under her eyes, careful not to smear her eyeliner. He downed the rest of his soda and waited for her to finish.

“How was the chicken?” she asked to lighten the mood.

“It was the best chicken I have ever had in my entire life.”

“Didn’t I say it was worth it?”

“You did, and it was!” they shared a laugh as she handed over her card to the waitress. 

“Where should we go now? You have your own story to share.” She reminded him.

“I don’t know, maybe we could go walk in a park? Some place that’s not six stories above the ground.”

Jenny giggled. “Sure. I know the perfect place.”


	16. Chapter 16

She took them to the part of town near where Mike’s parents lived, Chester realized, maybe two blocks away. There was a road that seemed to make a clear line between two neighborhoods. “How does this place exist? Look at the gorgeous, well maintained house over there, and then over here we have the hood!” Chester commentated with humor.

Jenny smiled and gave a soft chuckle. “I know, it seems so unlikely.” She passed the stop sign as anxiety began to rise, making her grip the steering wheel tight until the car was parked at the playground nearby.

She led them to the walking path and listened to Chester tell his story. He grew up in a rough part of town, got mixed up with a bad crowd and was bullied in school. He and his father never got along and his mother was a drug addict. He fell in love with his wife Samantha when they were too young and tried his best to make her happy within his means, but they had just grown too far apart.

He had always been involved in music whether he was just singing in his own room or performing on a stage. Grey Days had fallen apart which disappointed him; he had put so much emotion into the songs he wrote that it had become like therapy each time he performed.

“And then you met Mike and the rest is history, huh?” she said with a smile.

“Pretty much.”

“You guys are pretty close.”

“I mean, I live with the guy. It happens.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” She said with an insinuating tone.

Chester glanced at her, but kept his mouth shut; he knew she probably had an idea about their unorthodox relationship. “So, why this park?”

“Mike and I used to come here a lot, when we’d take walks. We’d sit over there on the swings or over at the picnic table over there. We’d talk or work on homework. When they built the corner store he used to bring me Kit Kats.”

Chester watched her remanence with a smile, walking along the path with her hands in her pockets. “Can you show me where you lived?” he asked.

Jenny bit her lip. “Ha, uh, I don’t know. I don’t really want to go back there.”

“We don’t have to stand in front of it. Maybe we can just, stand like 3 houses down on the other side of the street, you can point it out?”

“Maybe another day.”

“Ok, what about this, we can sit in the car, you can point it out from inside the car. How about that? C’mon, we’re right here, we never have to come back here after today.”

“Why do you want to see my house?”

“I want the full experience. I want to be able to picture little Mike and little Jenny walking down the street, randomly crossing paths and becoming the unlikely friends that broke the stereotypical walls.”

“OK. Fine. We’ll park on the other side of the street, I’ll point it out and we’ll go back to the apartment.”

They drove down the street and back to the stop sign, sitting there for a few seconds. Jenny inhaled deeply; Chester noticed her white knuckles on the steering wheel. “It’s going to be OK, we’ll be there for less than a minute.” He assured her; she nodded and turned into the rough side of the street, passing two houses before she stopped.

“There, the white one with the busted screen door.” She said quickly, making sure he saw it clearly before checking her blind spots and mirrors, backing up onto the main street and leaving her past behind her.

“I’m proud of you. That took a lot of courage.”

Jenny scoffed. “You’re telling me. You made me!”

“You drove there.” He retorted with a smirk, lighting a cigarette out the window.

She glared at him, a hint of a smile on her lips. “OK then. What are you going to do to conquer a fear then?”

“I don’t know. I’m not from here.”

“OK, so confess something.”

“Like what?”

Jenny pulled off into a store parking lot and turned to face him. “Tell me something you haven’t told anyone in California.”

Chester contemplated her request, his new sunglasses shielding his eyes. He took a drag from his cigarette before saying “OK, but only because I know you won’t tell anyone else. And because you’ve shared so much with me.”

Jenny nodded and promised not to tell, readying herself for him to say the words “Mike and I are a couple.” Instead, she got something she wasn’t expecting; she and Chester were much more alike than she thought.

 

Mike got off of work later than he meant to; the store owners had hired a new employee since both Mike and Rob were needing to take so much time off to practice. They had asked Mike to brief him on the inventory which should have gone quickly, but the kid had a lot of questions. He finally had to cut him off and explain he had people waiting on him, as politely as he could. He quickly clocked out and called Jenny’s cell phone, but it went to voicemail.

He hung up and started his car before trying her again. Still no answer? He was beginning to worry, but he tried to tell himself it was just because she and Chester were having too much fun; Chester was a fun guy, it made sense, in his head.

He drove as quickly and as safely as he could to his apartment, finding her empty car in the parking lot. He climbed the steps to the second floor and unlocked the door. They were sitting on the couch facing each other, both holding a beer can in their hand. Jenny turned away and wiped her face.

“Hey.” He said gently, with a hint of a question in his voice.

Chester cleared his throat and took a drink. “Hey.” His tone didn’t comfort Mike in the least bit.

“What did I miss?”

Jenny and Chester glanced at each other, Jenny took a long sip from her can. “Nothing, we were just talking.” Chester replied as Jenny sniffed.

“Are you guys OK?” Mike asked as he closed the door, remembering he hadn’t yet.

Jenny got up, set her can down and left to the bathroom without a word, leaving Chester to continue trying to cover up their conversation. “Yeah, we were just talking about her dad. Kinda hit a dark spot.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, no baby, it’s OK. We needed a change of subject anyways. Come, sit down. How was work?”

Mike sighed. “Long. I’m sorry I had to stay, there was a new guy.”

“Not a problem, we entertained ourselves.”

“Yeah?” he asked, eyeing Jenny as she joined them back in the living room, taking a seat on the other side of Mike; he could tell she had been crying. It had been a long time since he had seen her tear stained face.

“Yes, she took me shopping! I have a whole new wardrobe. Then we went to this restaurant with $15 chicken.” Mike smiled at his boyfriend’s childish excitement, Jenny giggled.

“I took him to the park by my old house for a walk.”

“Oh, that was a cool idea! Aw man, how many days did we spent there? I think we were going there like every day at one point.” He stared off into space for a few seconds while he remembered, then swallowed before asking, “You didn’t happen to check the tree next to that table, did you?”

“No. It was still there if that’s what you’re asking.” Jenny replied; something in Mike’s lack of response told her that wasn’t what he was inquiring.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day was Wednesday and Mike was quiet when he woke up, letting Chester sleep in as he went to start the coffee. They’d be rehearsing today after breakfast, getting into the mindset for their next meeting with Dan tomorrow. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at his desk, placing his headphones over his ears and preparing to work.

As much as he tried to concentrate he couldn’t help but think about the change in the atmosphere between Jenny and Chester the night before. Chaz had been more affectionate, especially with the hug he had given her when she left. Though now that he considered it, the hug he had received from her was a little longer than usual too. Chaz had been right, they must have touched a dark spot.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning to see Chaz about to walk out the front door to smoke but not before he winked at him. Mike smiled and blushed from the flattery, realizing he wasn’t going to get any work done before they left. He removed his headphones and took out his phone, sending Jenny a good morning text.

Jenny – How are you?  
Mike – Doing better now that I have coffee. I wanted to check on you. Are you doing OK?  
Jenny – Yes, why do you ask?  
Mike – Considering what I walked into last night…  
Jenny – Oh. Yes I’m fine, it was just the mood of the conversation.  
Mike – What were you talking about?  
Jenny – My dad.  
Mike – I know, but what about him?

It took her a few minutes to reply, making Mike wonder if he had asked too much. Didn’t he know everything about what her father had done to her? Why would she feel uncomfortable about answering him?

Jenny – Just stuff, the way he was to me. You know.  
Mike – OK.

He knew better than to keep asking, though it was still on his mind. He remembered that Chester would be leaving in two days back to Arizona for a few days to get things from his apartment.

Mike – Can we hang out on Friday?  
Jenny – I have work during the day, but afterwards we could.  
Mike – Chaz will be out of town.  
Jenny – And you’ll be lonely?  
Mike – I miss you. I haven’t been able to have a minute alone with you since we reconnected.  
Jenny – You need time alone with me?

Mike took a minute to think about what he had written; did he really mean it in the way it implied? “Yes.” He replied simply.

The next day they walked into the office with a new air of confidence, not nervous like they had last time. Mike was disappointed when Jenny wasn’t the one who brought them back, but followed the male intern back to their designated room nonetheless. Their meeting gave them new hope knowing their music was going to be passed to the next level of reviewers for a possible contract. They hung out at Brad’s parent’s house to celebrate, indulging in fast food and video games. Mike and Chaz left early since Chester had to get up early to drive back with his old roommate. Mike had offered to drive him but Chester had said if he drove him he wouldn’t let him return.

Mike woke up the next day and spent time thoroughly cleaning his apartment. He took his car to get washed, bought food for the dinner he would be cooking them tonight and brought it home. His mother called to ask if he would help his father set up his new TV set; Mike agreed but told her he was only available for a limited amount of time.

While at his parents’ house Mike skimmed through the directions and got the set working in no time. His father complimented him and said “If only dates motivated every man your age to get things done.”

His mother entered the room and asked “You have a date, Michael?”

Mike smiled. “It’s not a date.”

Mike’s dad gave his mother a knowing look. “What else could have made him work so quickly?”

“Dad! It’s not a date! It’s…” Mike paused, remembering he hadn’t told his parents yet. “I found Jenny,” he said quickly; his mother gasped as they both started to ask questions but Mike spoke over them “But that’s all I’m going to say because I have to go! I’ll tell you another time, bye love you!”

 

Jenny called to say she was on her way; Mike sautéed and pan fried until the fajitas were done, setting the table just as she walked in. He greeted her with a hug and a smile, the atmosphere shocked with comfort and nervousness at the same time. Chester had provided a cushion to the awkwardness, giving them something else to focus on besides themselves. There were no excuses now.

He let her wash her hands and got her a soda to drink, sitting at the table together and passing food to each other. “What made you choose fajitas?”

“They’re delicious. And I know how to make them.” He said with a guilty smile as he sprinkled cheese onto his toppings.

She giggled. “I’ll have to teach you a thing or two. Pasta is easy too.”

“I know family recipes, stuff we make on holidays or whatever, but Ceviche is an acquired taste.”

“Well, these are delicious. I love the flavor!” she complimented with a mouth full of food, making him laugh.

After she helped him clear their plates they leaned against the kitchen counters and talked. She asked how he had been since she left, how his family was; Mike smiled as he remembered his parent’s reactions when he mentioned her earlier. “They are doing pretty good, Jason’s looking at colleges.”

“Oh wow! I feel so old. Last thing I remember about him was he was going into fourth grade. Wow.”

“Yeah. You should come over to their house sometime with me, they’d love to see you. I told them about you today. They had a lot of questions but I was leaving.”

Jenny smiled and looked to the ground. “I feel bad about what I did to them too. Are they mad at me?”

“What? No! Not at all. Why would they be mad?” he asked.

“They did so much for me, they took care of me when I had nowhere to go. I feel like I betrayed them for leaving so suddenly.”

“No! You did what you had to do. We all understand that. Sure, it was pretty drastic, but look what you’ve done with yourself! How could we be mad at you for that?”

She thought about what he said for a moment, finding comfort in his words. “OK.” She said softly, catching his eye as they smiled. Mike walked to her and wrapped his arms around her.

She slipped her hands around his torso, letting her head rest against his chest as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. She heard him sigh before he said “This feels good. I miss this.”

She wrapped her arms tighter, nuzzled into him and whispered “Me too.” Her eyes closed as his hand pushed her hair behind her ear; she could feel his heart beating in his chest, stirring and confusing the emotions in her gut. She wanted to stay there in that moment forever, feeling safe and loved with the one person she had ever trusted in her life; instead she pulled away and left into the living room to turn on the radio.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been two weeks since their last WB meeting and the band was on edge. What if they didn’t make it? What if they had been forgotten about? Why hadn’t they heard anything? Chester tried to keep the mood light with jokes and encouragement but he had his own doubts. What if?

Mike hadn’t spoken to Jenny since the week before; things had been a little distant between them since the night they hung out together, though he wasn’t sure why. She blamed it on work, but he wasn’t entirely convinced.

Chester was hanging out with his friend that had housed him before he moved in with Mike, leaving Mike with nothing to do now that he was off work. He took out his phone as he drove back home, dialing Jenny’s number; straight to voicemail. He tried again but was still unsuccessful. He sat at the stop sign considering his options; he could go straight and head home, or he could turn right and make his way to the highway, heading to her work. He tapped the steering wheel trying to make up his mind until a car pulled up behind him; he turned right.

 

Jenny sat in the studio adjusting the tuning on the vocalists’ verse; this guy could sing, but she could tell he was nervous. They had only been in the studio for about a week, his reaction was typical. She hit the button that allowed her to speak into his side of the room and said “Just relax, you’ve got this. Just close your eyes and pretend you’re on stage, not in front of anyone important.” He tried it once more and finally they were able to move on.

As she was discussing with the band about a gig they had coming up Katie, the receptionist, knocked on the door. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, Jenny you have a visitor.”

“OK, I’ll be right there.” She replied. She finished her conversation and excused herself with the band. When she came out to the receptionist desk she saw Mike waiting for her. She smiled instantly and said “Hey you! What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” he asked with a curious look in his eye.

“Sure, let’s go to my office.” She led the way down the hall, passing the conference rooms and through another doorway to the offices. She opened hers and walked to her chair, inviting him to take a seat in the guest chairs. He closed the door and sat. “What’s up?” she asked.

“Are we…OK?”

“Yeah! Why do you ask?”

“We haven’t talked in almost a week.”

“I’m working Mike, I don’t always have time. I’m dealing with 3 bands right now.”

“I know, I just kinda got the impression you were avoiding me.”

Jenny shrugged. “Not intentionally. I wish we could talk all day, I’ve just been so bogged down with this ignorant group of guys they insist are talented.” She said with an eye roll, making Mike smile halfway. “You know what, I think I’m off on Saturday. Can we spend time together then? Do you have plans?”

“Not as of now. We have a show Friday night.”

“You do? Can I come? I might be late, but I’d love to come.”

“Yeah, of course! But only if you promise to stay the night so we can hang out after.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’m assuming it’s here in town?”

“Yeah.”

“My house is closer, you and Ches can stay with me that night. The guys can come hang out if they want but I only have two spare bedrooms.”

“Yeah, I’ll ask him!" Mike smiled. “It’s good to see you.”

“As always.” She replied with a gleam in her eye. “Have you guys heard anything back yet?”

“Not yet, it’s been a little discouraging.”

“I’ll see what I can find out about it. It may be above me though.”

“Anything would be better than what we’ve got.”

“OK. I’ll try to find out.” She sat there fidgeting in her chair in the silence between them, trying to think of what she could do to keep him there with her. “Hey, you want to see a studio?”

Mike’s face lit up with excitement. “Yes!”

She took him back to the studio she had been working in, watching him gawk over the sound board. It made her happy to watch him realize his dreams, helping him see that they weren’t so out of reach as he thought; she could see a new wave of inspiration fill his heart.

They walked back to the front lobby and said goodbye. Mike promised to send her the time of the show once he found out for sure, she promised to be there. She watched him walk away with the familiar pang that stung her heart each time he left her.

 

Mike picked up his boyfriend on the way home, happy to see him in a good mood. They held hands on the way and talked about their days; when Mike mentioned he saw Jenny, Chester seemed intrigued. “You just showed up at her work?”

“Yeah, I mean I hadn’t heard from her, I thought she was ignoring me or something.”

“She’s been really busy…” he started.

“Yeah I know that’s what she said too, but see the difference between you and I is that you still got replies.” Mike said with a bitter edge.

“Are you mad at me for that?”

Mike sighed. “No, I’m not mad. I love that you two are getting along so well but things are awkward between she and I for some reason. You guys are getting along better. It never used to be this hard for us to be around each other.”

Chester gazed at his lover knowing he could help shine a light on his struggle, but knowing he would betray her if he did. “Things will get better. Just give it time, Mikey.”


	19. Chapter 19

Friday night Mike tried to distract himself from the fact that Jenny would be in the crowd watching. He had already tried convincing himself she wouldn’t show up, but her excitement to see them stood in the way of that working. He checked the mirror 3 times before agreeing he was ready to storm the stage; once he was up in front of the crowd everything disappeared. He was born to do this, to spit rhymes and write and perform music alongside his best friends; this was his dream and as long as he kept that in focus, everything else didn’t matter.

By now they had built a decent reputation, spotting regulars who knew the words and mouthing to their friends beside them “Didn’t I tell you they were good?” After finishing their third song Mike took a quick survey of the crowd from left to right as he always did, speaking to them, asking how they were enjoying it so far; as his eyes rested on the VIP lounge above the right side of the crowd he spotted a familiar brunette leaning on the bar keeping her from falling off the ledge. Her hands were entwined together and she was smiling softly, proud of her friend. He gave her a quick wink and a smile in acknowledgement, receiving an even wider smile back.

Filled with a new wave of inspiration, he led his band into a new song they had saved just for tonight; the crowd jumped and thrashed all the same, then roared when they ended with One Step Closer. As they thanked the crowd, Mike tried to keep an eye on where Jenny was leaving to but lost her as he stepped down off the stage to meet his admirers.

Jenny waited for her friends on a stool at the corner of the bar, watching them sign and talk with their fans until there were almost none left. She wondered if they knew how much of an impact they were creating by doing such a thing? Most bands trying to get off their feet either didn’t have the time nor did they make the time to connect with them in person; she was convinced they weren’t going to turn out like those bands. 

Chester spotted her as he ended a conversation and headed her way, a smile beaming in her direction as sweat glistened on his forehead and shoulders through his white tank top. “Hey you made it!”

“I did! Caught the last two songs. Would have been here earlier but I got tied up at the office.” She explained with a scrunch of her nose.

“Oh, yeah that sucks. Well fuck ‘em now, it’s the weekend and you’re in party mode now!” he belted out excitedly successfully making her laugh.

“That’s right! Come, do a shot with me!” she said, signaling the bartender. Chester admired her with a warm smile as she turned in the other direction, ordering their drinks; it made him happy to see her happy tonight. He grabbed his towel and wiped his sweaty face before she handed one to him, clinking their plastic cups together and downing them simultaneously.

Mike made his way over to his friends at the bar by the door as their faces scrunched up into looks of disgust at the flavor of their beverage. He smiled and looked at Chester saying “That’s so hot. You should make that face more often.”

They shared a laugh before Jenny complimented their show, explaining she wished she could have seen more. They made small talk until the rest of the band caught up to them, explaining they were just going to head home and crash. The threesome parted ways with the others and crammed into a taxi, having carpooled with the other band members to the venue. The boys informed her of their performance and what songs they usually played compared to their set list this time. Jenny listened intently with a proud smile on her face, infected with their happiness.

As the car pulled up to her driveway, she paid the fair and led them up to her door, her two guests deeply involved in a conversation about baseball. She held the door opened, receiving a quick “thank you” from each of them before they returned to their conversation; Jenny just smiled and walked past them, flipping on light switches and making her way to the kitchen. She took out three glasses and the bottle of rum in her cabinet, listening as their voices slowly grew closer. Chester announced he was going to the bathroom quickly and he’d be right there.

Mike joined her in the kitchen with a smile, noticing the liquor on the counter. “Now it’s a party!” he said cheerily.

Jenny chuckled. “I didn’t know how picky you were.”

“Not at all. Rum is good.”

She smiled as she poured the drinks. “You guys really did an amazing job out there. It was interesting seeing you rap.”

Mike sneered. “You knew I liked to rap, I used to rap all the time.”

“Not like that!”

He nodded in agreement. “I’ve had a lot of practice. How was your night?” he asked. She gave him a few details as Chester entered the room, taking the drink offered to him, eyeing the bottle on the counter. He watched his two friends interact, spotting the excitement in Mike’s eyes; he wondered when Mike would see the connection in his feelings for him and for his childhood best friend?

“Well, let me give you a tour, you guys can put your bags in your rooms and take showers or whatever so we can get comfortable and hang out.” Jenny offered, leading them back into the foyer to grab their overnight bags. She took them upstairs right away and showed them to their rooms, each separated by a guest bathroom. “This is my room,” she pointed out to the door at the end of the hallway, “I have extra towels if you need them.”

After the guys cleaned up and came back downstairs Jenny gave Mike the rest of the tour before they spent time going through her CD collection and telling stories connected to albums. Chester pulled out a Celine Dion album and gave her a teasing look; Jenny defended herself by belting out part of one of the tunes, telling them she trained her how to sing like that, receiving approving looks from both.

Finally as 3am approached, Jenny’s eyes grew heavy. “Oh man, I’m about to crash. You guys OK? Are you going to bed?”

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be up soon. We’ll clean up our cups and stuff. See you in the morning?”

“You will. Goodnight boys.” She slurred, making her way to the stairs.

Chester watched Mike sip his drink as he watched Jenny climb to her room. “Well that was fun.” He said, waiting for Mike to peel away from her and look at him.

“Yeah, it was! I’m beat though.” He said with a sigh.

Chester hummed an agreement and shook his head slightly. “There’s something comforting about being around her. Like, I would never feel comfortable in a house this fancy or be able to sleep in it, but it’s hers, it’s different. You know what I mean?”

Mike inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. “I do. She’s really doing well on her own, I don’t have to worry so much about her.”

Chester snickered. “Right, like she doesn’t plague your mind twice as much now as she did a few weeks ago.” He watched as his lover’s cheeks turned a shade darker than they had been as he stared into his cup, downing the last few drops.

“I’m gonna head up. You coming?” he asked.

“You mean, to sleep in your room? You’re willing to do that in front of her?”

“Oh, no I just meant if you were going to bed too.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah let’s take the cups back.”

As they approached Chester’s doorway closest to Jenny’s room, Mike listened for any sign of her moving in her room. Convinced she was asleep he turned to his boyfriend and sweetly wrapped him in his arms, noses touching as he gave him a loving smile. “I love you Chester Bennington.” He whispered before parting his lips and kissing him.

Chester moaned against his lips. “I love you too Mike Shinoda.” He replicated his kiss, only changing it by adding tongue. The younger man inhaled sharply as he tasted the sweet coconut of the rum on his lover’s muscle as it caressed his own.

They parted slightly, eyes closed as Mike whispered “You are going to make this hard, aren’t you?”

Chester reached down to graze against the emcee’s noticeably growing package. “I have every intention to, yes.” He purred as Mike gently pushed into his hand. Their lips crashed together with clear intentions now, Mike’s hands going to the singer’s hips as he pulled him closer for contact, backing him against the doorframe. He gripped the other side of the frame and pulled, causing his body to press against Chester’s and their groins to pulse against each other. A small moan escaped the older man’s throat, trying to keep himself quiet since they were practically outside Jenny’s room.

Their breaths were growing heavy now, gasping for air between kisses as hands roamed and began to strip, starved for skin. “Mikey, let’s move this into the room…”

“No, I want you right here, I’m gonna make you cum against this door.” He breathed, slowly pushing his hand inside the other man’s pants as he watched him tremble with need; a squeak forced its way out of his throat before he could stop it. He teased him until he was hard enough to satisfy, removing his hand and forcing him to turn, his cheek now pushed against the door.

Mike eyed him hungrily as he held him in place; just as he was about to align his cock along Chester’s rear they heard a door open, freezing in their tracks as they decided what to do. Quickly they moved out of their position, realizing they only partially solved their problem, unable to mask their tents. Jenny staggered out of her room, half awake. “Hey, you guys still awake?” she croaked, her throat dry.

Mike cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, we were just about to go to bed, we were discussing what time to wake up.” He replied, praying she bought it.

Jenny rubbed her eye and said “Oh….Ok. I’m gonna get some water and go back to bed.”

“Ok!” he said in a higher pitch than he intended. He watched her descend the stairs as they made a display of saying goodnight, Mike closing the door to his room before sneaking into Chester’s and closing his door behind him. He tackled Chester and pressed their foreheads together as they giggled. Mike bit his lip, coming up with a new plan. “Strip for me, then lay on the bed.”

Chester did as he was told, touching himself as he pushed his pants and boxer briefs down, moaning on contact. “Oh baby, I want you to fuck me so bad.” He crooned.

Mike tore his own shirt off and finished removing his pants, his member exposed in all its glory. As Chester laid on his back on the edge of the bed, Mike stood between his legs and gazed down on him, slowly jerking himself as Chester grew jealous. “Mikey please, touch me!”

He sank to his knees and took the older man’s phallus into his mouth, listening to him fight back moans. Chester thrust into the back of his throat while his balls were caressed and pulled. The half-Asian tongued the loose skin cradling the sack, causing sloppy lines of saliva to run down to his precious entrance. Chester shuddered, the feeling shooting waves of pleasure throughout his entire body. “Oh fuck baby!’

Mike stood and began rubbing his cock between his smooth cheeks. “You want it baby? Tell me, tell me you want me inside you.” His voice was husky and low, full of desire.

“I want you so fucking deep in me that I can’t make a sound. I want you to pound me until I cover myself with cum!”

Mike ran his thumb across Chester’s bottom lip, pushing it into his mouth as the singer received and sucked it. “My fucking fuckboy, that’s what you are. Say it.”

“I’m your fuckboy.”

“Mean it!”

“I’m your fuc-“ he began as Mike penetrated him without warning, Chester’s eyes growing wide before rolling back into his head. “OH FUCK!” he whispered frantically.

Mike clenched his teeth and forced himself deeper. “That’s what you like, isn’t it fuckboy? You like it when I fit into that tight little hole of yours.”

Chester could only respond in whimpers, lost in the feeling of Mike's cock reaming him repeatedly. "Hit my spot baby. You know I love it when you hit my spot."

"You're right, I do." He began pumping him in rhythm with his thrusts, the thrill of possibly getting caught pushing him. As he approached his edge, he gripped the older man's hips, pounding and pumping simultaneously. Chester's mouth gaped into a silent scream, closing to bite his lip as he growled, holding on until...

Mike groaned deeply as he exploded along Chester's silk walls, jerking his lover until he emptied himself into his hand. Relieved, sweaty and drenched in sperm they cleaned themselves up and said goodnight.


	20. Chapter 20

Saturday morning was awkward. Chester was the last to walk into the kitchen area for breakfast after getting dressed; Mike had woken him up about 30 minutes ago with sweet kisses on his cheek and soft whispers, leaving as he began to stir. He was sitting around the kitchen island on one side as Jenny poured herself another cup of coffee, grabbing an extra mug for Chester near the stove. “Good morning Chaz. How’d you sleep?” she asked.

“Really good. How about you?” he replied as he accepted his mug.

“Not bad. Were you hungover from last night or something?”

“No, I paced myself last night. Why do you ask?” he inquired innocently.

“Oh, no reason, I was just wondering if it was a normal occurrence that Mike wakes you up with whispering and kisses.” She replied nonchalantly; Mike nearly spat out his coffee.

“What?” Chester said as the color rushed to his face. “He was just…I was just…” he tried, but Jenny raised her eyebrow. “I TOTALLY saw you.” She confessed, eyeing them both. She could tell Mike was unsure if he should feel embarrassed or own up to it; Chester was laughing.

“I told you she was gonna figure it out, Mikey. Girls know things before they even happen.” He said with a smile, taking as sip.

“It’s cool, it doesn’t bother me. I just never got that vibe from you, Mike.”

“It’s not like I’m attracted to men, it’s literally just him. I-I don’t know what it is.” Mike admitted.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, I’m not judging you.” She said in an attempt to comfort him; she could see he wasn’t comfortable being put on the spot about his sexuality. She met his eyes and tried to make him see she didn’t see him any differently.

Chester sensed the tension in the air; he hadn’t expected Mike to react this way to her catching them. It was he, after all, who coerced him into their sexual act last night. Chester was sure it was only his confusion over the acceptance that he was dating a man that was making Mike feel ashamed, but he wasn’t sure. The room was quiet until Mike finished his coffee and murmured that he was going to get dressed. “Mike, wait…” Jenny tried, but he ignored her.

Chester noticed the worry in her eyes. “It’s ok, he’ll be fine. He still hasn’t figured out why he enjoys it so much.”

“Is he gay?” she asked.

“No, bisexual.”

“How can you be sure?”

‘Because he loves you too’ was what he wanted to say to her; instead he just shrugged and finished his coffee. “I’m gonna go check on him. We’ll be back down.”

 

Chester knocked softly on his door before opening it slowly. “Mike? Can I come in?” there was no answer; he found his lover sitting on the edge of the bed, deep in thought and still in his pj’s. “Hey baby, are you OK?”

“Why does everyone have to know? What if this changes everything? What if she can’t stand the sight of me? I don’t want to lose her again, Ches. I don’t want…”

“Shh shh, no baby. You aren’t going to lose her.” He said as he rushed to his side. “You think after all you two have been through, she’s going to ditch you because you love a man?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to lose her to next.” Chester’s heart dropped from the sadness in his voice.

“Are you ashamed of us?”

Mike hung his head and shook it. “No, of course not. I just never stopped to think about what other people would think of me knowing I was…”

“Mike, do YOU even know what you are?”

“No, I’m so confused.”

“Does the label mean that much to you?”

“It’s not about the label. I just want to know that what I’m doing is true. How do I know I’m really into girls too? I’ve only been in one relationship that went nowhere sexually. You were my first. I just want to know so I can stop asking.”

“I think you know more than you think you do.”

Mike looked at Chester, confused. “What do you mean?”

Chester sighed, making his decision. He kissed his lover on the forehead and stood up. “Get dressed my love. I’ll see you downstairs.”

 

Chester called a cab on his way down the stairs; he asked Jenny what she was doing today. She said she was free, what did he want to do? “I actually had an emergency come up. Can Mike hang with you all day while I go take care of it? The cab’s almost here.”

Jenny eyed him suspiciously. “Yeah…what’s up?”

“Nothing, just something I gotta take care of. I’ll call later. Thanks!” he said with a brief kiss on her cheek before rushing out the door with Mike’s apartment keys. Jenny found it odd that he would leave so suddenly; maybe Mike needed something? Who knew. She continued cleaning up the kitchen and started the dishwasher as Mike came back into the room.

He looked around before asking “Where’s Ches?”

Jenny shrugged. “Something about an emergency?”

“How did he leave?”

“Cab I guess. He had your apartment keys, I figured you knew.”

“No…” Mike replied, immediately taking out his phone to dial his boyfriend; no answer. He wrote him a text instead.

“You OK?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s just weird he would leave like that.” He said, distracted.

Jenny’s phone gave a familiar _PING_ ; she got a message from Chester that read:

Spend time with him, remind him what it feels like to be with a woman. He needs clarity, and you’re the only one that can make him see. I’ll check in later. He needs you.

Jenny rolled his message over in her mind, realizing she had just been given the task to put moves on her best friend to help him understand his bisexuality. She grew nervous immediately; she spent her time avoiding the attention of men, dressing how she pleased but never in a way to draw them to her. Surely he remembered her saying she had never had a boyfriend?

“Anything?” Mike’s voice shook her from her thoughts.

“Oh, no. Work.” She said, raising her phone momentarily.

“Do you need to go in? I can find a way home…”

“No! This is my weekend off. I’m not going in.” she watched as he ran his hand through his hair, frustrated with his boyfriend. She needed to find something to take his mind off of him. “Are you hungry?”

“A little.”

“You…wanna go to Molly’s?”

A smile slowly formed on his lips. “I haven’t been there in ages!”

Jenny felt her heart skip a beat from the excitement of revisiting the old diner they used to frequent on weekends. Mike would spend his allowance money on milkshakes or pancakes for them sometimes if they pulled all-nighters avoiding her dad or if his parents were having a dinner party.

 

After filling themselves with sugary carbs, they took the short walk to the library and sat on the bench outside the building. They talked about how the food and the décor was somehow exactly as it had been almost 7 years ago when they started going. Their laughing was interrupted by a phone call from his brother. He needed him to come over and help him decide on an outfit for his first date that night. “Jason, I can’t right now, I’m busy!”

“Please Mike! I have nothing to wear! Help me!” he begged. Mike sighed and rolled his eyes annoyingly. “Hold on.”

He put the phone down by his side to ask Jenny if she’d be willing to go to his parent’s house; Jenny was shocked, not prepared for such an eventful day. “Uh, um…yeah, I guess…”

When they arrived at the house Jenny’s stomach immediately flipped from nerves. “I don’t think my parents are here, I think they’re out. You ok?” he asked her, noticing her quietness. He was shaking with excitement but he hid it well; he knew she’d be twice as nervous as he was.

“Heh, yeah. It’s just been a long time.” She said with a forced smile.

“I’m surprised you remembered how to get here.” He said with a comforting tone.

“I’d never forget how to get here.” Her smile was real this time.

 

After an hour of Jason’s hormonal tantrum over how he would look, they finally decided on an outfit and what cologne to wear. Mike hurried her out the door, trying to leave before his parents showed up, knowing they’d never leave if they did. They drove the short distance to the park and walked to their table by the tree.

“Still no word from Chaz?” she asked.

“Yeah, he texted that he was sorry and he’d call me later. Whatever that means.”

“I’m sure everything’s fine. Maybe he’s planning a surprise for you when you come home.” She said suggestively, raising her eyebrows. Mike gave her a half smile and smirked. Well, if you’re gonna tackle the subject now’s the time…she thought to herself. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot this morning.”

Mike tried to push it away with a half shrug but she continued. “I get it if you don’t want it to be my business, but I just want you to know that I love you all the same no matter what your sexuality is.”

“It’s not you, Jenny. This is just all so new to me still.” He sat staring at his hands quietly for a minute before adding “We’ve been together for a little over a year, and I still haven’t called him…”

“Your boyfriend?” she finished after his noticeable struggle. “Are you uncomfortable with the idea?”

“I never thought of myself as gay, you know? I like girls…or at least I think I do. I did. I’m just confused.”

“It doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you are with who you love.” She said, placing a hand on his.

“What about you? Are you sure of your sexuality?”

Jenny swallowed. “Yes, even though I should be gay. I’m definitely straight.” She tried to joke.

“What do you mean? Have you ever been with a girl to know?”

“No, but boobs don’t do anything for me.” She winked, earning a chuckle and a smile from him.

“Have you ever….been with a guy?” he wasn’t sure why he was so apprehensive about his question; maybe he felt he was prying, maybe he was worried he would make her feel uncomfortable.

Jenny gazed down at the table as the breeze blew stands of hair that had escaped her ponytail around her face, the leaves rustled in her silence. “Not willingly.” She said quietly.

“Not willingly? As in…” he began. Jenny watched his eyes change from confused to pained; she turned away as the tears in her eyes began to form. “When?” he almost whispered.

Jenny hugged herself and rested her chin on her arms, not wanting to finish this conversation. Talking about it with Chester had helped, but seeing the hurt in Mike’s eyes hurt her. “When!” he demanded again.

“The night before I left.” She forced herself to reply; Mike’s heart dropped.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” the pain in his voice was mixed with anger and it was making her feel small.

“I couldn’t, I was in shock. I didn’t want to say it because then it would have actually happened.” Jenny put her head in her hands and began to cry as Mike stood and paced, his hands balled into fists and running through his hair quickly as he processed everything. He suddenly stopped when he heard her crying, calming his seething enough to round the table and comfort her. He straddled the bench to sit next to her and wrapped her in his arms.

“I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I shouldn’t have let this happen.” He said, nuzzling into her hair.

“Mike it’s not your fault, there’s nothing you could have done. I tried to fight back, that’s why I got hurt. It just happened.” She let him hold her and absorbed the comfort, calming herself. “You were there for me after. If it hadn’t been for you I don’t know what I would have done.”

“You still left me.”

His voice was so small, almost a squeak. She had hurt him badly with her sudden disappearance, she knew. Did it affect him more now, somehow? “I didn’t want to Mike. If there had been some way I could have stayed and survived I would have, but I knew if I stayed, it would happen again, and I promise you I wouldn’t have survived that.”

“I would have come with you.” He confessed. She pulled away so she could look at him.

“I would have never…”

“You said I would have been the only one who could have convinced you to stay, and that may be true, but if I had known what had happened, I would have left with you.”

Their eyes locked in a battle of searching, for truth, for answers. “Look at the tree. On the other side.”

“What?”

“Just go look at it.” He repeated. She slowly stood and carefully walked around the trunk, watching out for roots that had come up. As she approached the opposite side, she saw a carving etched into its bark. There was a heart and two initials; she didn’t have to recognize them to know what it said. Her heart raced as she stood there paralyzed, unsure what to think of this new information. What was she supposed to do with it?

Mike joined her in front of his carving. “I loved you.” He professed, swallowing before quietly adding “I still love you.”


	21. Chapter 21

Thunder rolled above them in the silence. How did he expect her to respond? How could he tell her this now, after all this time, and with Chester involved? “We should go.” She stated, absentmindedly. She quickly passed him and nearly jogged to her car; the sky was growing darker by the minute. Mike followed her, trying to keep up, trying to think of something, anything to break the silence.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” He tried as they reached the car. She found the keys and unlocked it just as it began to rain. They rode in silence, the tension thick in the air. She drove straight to her house automatically, completely forgetting the fact that she could have taken him back to his apartment and avoided everything that was to come.

Her mind went on autopilot and suddenly she was pulling up her driveway, parking halfway up like she always did on the slight incline. The rain was pouring now, relentless and completely uncaring of her personal drama at the moment. She stepped out of the car and into the rain, walking towards the door before Mike gently grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. “I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to put this on you now. I know it’s confusing and bad timing, but I’ve been dying to tell you since I found you again.”

“I wanted to tell you that night when Chester was in Arizona, but it was too soon. I thought I was just excited to see you and getting ahead of myself but this, this is real, as real as my feelings for Chester are. I was with Anna for almost 6 months and I never once felt this way about her! I never even slept with her, or any other woman because I knew how love felt.”

They were soaked and though she knew she was crying, she couldn’t tell the difference between her tears and the rain drops. Everything he was saying was perfect, words she dreamed of hearing for so many years. Why did they have to come now? “Chester.” Was all she could manage to say, her eyes conveying more than what her mouth would let her.

“I know. But you know what, I think he knows. I think he knew what he was doing by leaving this morning. It makes sense now. He said ‘I think you know more than you think you do,’ and he’s right. It's not about whether I'm attracted to men or women. I love Chester, and I love you.” He dared to let his hand reach her cheek, placing his palm against it so his thumb could gently caress her. “Don’t be mad at me.”

Her eyes studied his features, the rain running down his face from his hair, dripping from the tip of his nose, his eyes pleading with her; She knew she lost her battle of wills minutes ago. Swallowing hard to build her courage, she made herself say “Come inside” before forcing her feet to take her to the door. Her hands shook from the chill of the rain, causing her to fumble with the lock. Finally, the key cooperated, turning and opening the house. She tried the light but nothing happened; the power was out. Fuck! She thought.

Nerves still high, she walked further into the house, setting her bag on the hallway table with her keys. Mike shut the door behind them and watched her until she stopped, hugging herself and realizing they needed to get out of their wet clothes. “I-I have a white shirt and some pj’s that might fit you.” She said meekly; she saw a hint of question in his eyes as she quietly added “Men’s clothes are more comfortable.” She walked upstairs, her hair dripping and making the carpeted-stairs wet with each step. 

Mike slowly followed her up the stairs, allowing her a few moments to herself before she began searching her dresser for the clothes she mentioned. Without any artificial or natural light it was difficult to see until her eyes adjusted. As she rummaged she called out to him “You can grab some towels from the linen closet so we can dry off.” Finding what she was searching for, she closed the drawer as she began “I’ll grab some blankets and…” trailing off when she stood to turn and came nearly face to face with him. Her body screamed for her to move away, don’t let him know you are weak, don’t let him….

His lips brushed against hers, testing her. His hand rested at the small of her back, keeping her from running like he knew she would; almost as soon as he placed it there he felt her resist. He tried her lips again, taking them with his as gently and politely as he could; they were soft, just as he had imagined they would be. He did his best to force the excitement back as his heart pounded in his ears. He could feel her chest against him, breathing heavily while he tried to calm her.

Jenny couldn’t move, held in place by his hand and his body so close to hers, nearly against hers. His body heat and the scent of his pheromones gave her a heady feeling of being out of control; her lips didn’t move, only absorbed the feeling of his willing her to return his kiss. He had no idea how badly she wanted to but all she could think about was Chester.

“Mike.” She said, forcing herself to pull her lips away.

“What?” He asked in a tone she had never heard him use before; it stirred her in places she never knew he could.

“I think you should call Chester.” She hadn’t expected to feel so emotional; she was doing the right thing, wasn’t she? Chester's name still stung when she said it.

Mike swallowed and pulled back to look at her, trying to figure out what was going on in her mind but she looked away, staying close to him. “Did I…”

She shook her head quickly. “No. But you’re with Chester. Go. Call him. This was a mistake.” She shoved the clothes at him and rushed down the stairs before he could see the tears.


	22. Chapter 22

Chester sat in Mike’s living room glaring at the TV trying to occupy his mind. His heart felt for Mike; he hadn’t known how torn he’d felt lately about his feelings. Chester recognized Mike’s giddy reaction to being around his childhood friend never seemed to lessen, the way he talked about her almost constantly; he knew she plagued his mind. He owed it to Mike to give him the chance to straighten out how he felt, or else it would happen when it was out of his control.

Chester liked Jenny, he saw similarities in himself with her. When she had confessed to her sexual abuse from her father after he opened up, something happened between them that he couldn’t place. He trusted her, even though it scared him at the thought of it. She had the power to take his boyfriend away from him and he was giving her that chance right now. Chester had fallen for Mike and he wasn’t sure how he’d deal with losing him if it came to it…

_RING!_ His phone drew him from his thought suddenly. _RING!_ Stupid annoying ringtone! He cursed as he flipped it open and answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, why did you leave this morning?” Mike asked bluntly.

“Hey, Mike, I miss you too baby.” Chester replied with sarcasm.

“Why did you leave?”

“I think you know why I left.”

“Stop with the cryptic messages! You were like that this morning and I’m even more confused than I was then. Say what you are trying to say.”

“You love her.” He stated. He waited for a response, but when none came, he filled the void. “I knew you loved her. She’s the one that got away, isn’t she? She’s the reason you never so much as looked at anyone else until me, until I forced myself into your life.”

“You never forced yourself on me, Ches. I was drawn to you the second I saw you in the parking lot.”

“Why? What is it about me that caught your attention?”

“You’re different, you weren’t trying to fit in with everyone else, you gave off this hard exterior but for some reason I wasn’t buying into it. I was right too, you’re a big softie once you break through all those walls.”

“I let all those walls down just for you, Mike.” He said with sincerity.

“I know. I love you all the more for it. So tell me why you left.”

“I don’t want you to be wondering ‘what if’ months from now when your chance with Jenny is gone.”

“What?”

“I’m giving you a chance to be with her.”

“Chester that’s not fair! I never asked you to!”

“Mike, I’m not breaking up with you. I’m just letting you….do whatever happens.”

Mike bit his tongue, unsure of what to say. Part of him was scared to admit it to him, the other part had already known this was what was going on. “Something already happened, didn’t it?” his boyfriend asked.

“Something did, I guess. I don’t know what really there is to say about it.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

“Yes. Kind of.”

“And she didn’t throw herself at you?”

Mike sighed, running the scene through his mind once again, still trying to understand what DID happen. “She told me to call you.”

“Well, I can’t complain about that.”

“Did she know? About your plan? Did you tell her before you left?”

“Not really. She was just supposed to spend time with you. I knew it wouldn’t take much for you to understand. Your feelings for her never went away, you’ve been carrying a torch for that girl since she left you.” He listened to his lover breathe through the phone, the sound comforting and familiar. “So what do you want to do now?”

“Honestly? I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to make her feel the way she makes me feel, I want to kiss her and take away every wrong thing that’s ever been done to her.” Chester smiled as he listened to Mike confess his love for Jenny, thinking how good it must feel to get it off his chest finally. “I just want to prove to her that the world isn’t as cruel as her father made it out to be.”

“Go do that for her, Mike. She deserves that and so much more. I will try to get ahold of her.”


	23. Chapter 23

Jenny sat at the kitchen table running the last 45 minutes over and over in her mind; it all still seemed so unbelievable. When had he carved their initials in the tree? She was worried he was only confessing feelings to comfort her after her confession; it made her feel embarrassed that she even said it. He had asked and the truth just came out naturally, like it always did with him. She had guarded her feelings for him for years though, needing his friendship more than a boyfriend. Did she want to throw all of that away for a chance to be with him?

What was she saying? No, he’s with Chester, nothing about this is right, she told herself. Mike made a move on you that could have cost him his relationship, you were right to stop him. He could never love someone so broken, so much work…she shook her head; that was a dangerous road to go down.

She took her phone from her pocket and saw a missed called from Chester. Her immediate thought was he was calling to yell at her for leading Mike on. Suddenly the screen lit up; her stomach grew tight when she saw his name again…she closed her eyes and told herself she deserved this. “Hello?”

“Hey, are you ok?”

“Not really.”

“You did nothing wrong. This was all me.”

“That’s what Mike thought too. But I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. And I didn’t mean for this to happen either. I just…”

“It’s OK. I know how he feels about you.”

“You….you do?” How could he know? Had Mike told him before?

“Jenny, it’s so obvious when he’s around you. That man loves you more than he wants to admit to himself because he’s scared of losing me, but if he doesn’t admit it we’re going to lose each other somewhere down the road.”

Jenny thought about what he was saying. Was she really that much of a problem between them? “I-I don’t know what to say, Chester. I’m sorry. If I had known…”

“You did exactly what I asked you to. Now it’s just up to you two where you go from here.”

“Where we…Chester, did you break up with him? Oh god, please tell me you didn’t!”

“No! No no no. Think of it like this. Today, he is yours. No repercussions. If it turns into what I think it will, we will talk more later. If not, well, then we’ll know.”

“What do you mean ‘what you think it will’? Ches…I’m so confused.”

“It’s ok. Just follow your heart. Go talk to Mike, we’ll talk tomorrow.” he said as he hung up, leaving her baffled.

Again, Jenny was startled by Mike standing in the doorway now wearing the dry clothes she had provided him. He leaned against the frame without a door separating the kitchen from the dining room. “How long have you been there?” she asked.

“Long enough to know you are just as confused as I am. Or was, rather.” He took a seat on the long side of the table next to her. “You look like you have questions.”

Jenny scoffed. “Questions? How could he put me in this position? Why did you tell me this? I mean, if I had known staying in touch with you would have caused such a rift I wouldn’t have kept doing it!”

Mike kept quiet for a moment, letting her words settle. “I would have looked for you eventually. I would have had to know what really happened. I thought about you all the time, almost every day! You…” he paused, unsure where he was going with this conversation.

“You thought I was dead. Maybe things would have been better if I stayed that way.”

Mike shot up from his chair. “You shut your mouth! How can you SAY that?” His eyes were wide, his sudden outburst stunned her. “Have you not heard a damn word I’ve said to you since you came back?”

“Of course I have, Michael! What am I supposed to do, though? You said you thought I was dead, you’ve said you would have left with me. And today…” she shook her head. “Today I tell you something I didn’t ever want to tell you and you confess your love for me, suddenly? How am I supposed to know that’s real?” He walked into the kitchen for space; she stood and followed him, adrenaline fueling her bravery now. “How am I supposed to know that what you think is love isn’t just pity?

Mike stood in front of her, thinking his words over carefully, eyes wild and intense. How was he to convince her that he loved her?

This time he wasn’t going to wait for her permission, he had something to prove and there wasn’t room for error. He grabbed her arms firmly and kissed her like he’d never kissed anyone before. His need, his love, his sadness, everything flowed through him into this kiss. He felt her tense, then melt in his hands. His grip loosened and his hands found their place on her back as he held her. She let herself kiss him back, her hands sliding up his arms to his shoulders. The burning in her chest was unlike anything she had ever felt before; it was pain and need all in one and it felt so good.

Their lips parted but they stayed close, their foreheads rested against one another and eyes closed. The house was still, all energy focused on them as the rain continued to fall outside. “I love you Mike, but I need you too much to accept that you love me more than a friend.”

“I don’t know how you expect me to feel any other way about you.”

“Feel whatever you want, but you belong with Chester. I couldn’t let myself do anything that could ever jeopardize our relationship.”

“Jenny I’m not trying to jeopardize anything, I’m trying to make it stronger.”

She pulled away from him, the loss of his touch causing the pain to hurt tenfold; she stood at the end of the island. “Don’t you see how that would only make things worse?”

“No! I don’t understand why you won’t let me love you! If Chester can be OK with it, why can’t you? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved? Who could possibly love you more than me? All I want to do is be with you and show you how good it can be.”

“So you want to have sex with me, is that it?”

“Not necessarily…”

“Maybe it would have been different if you found me before you got with Chester, but I can’t do what you’re asking me to do, Mike. I can’t help you cheat on him. And I can't lose you again, once was painful enough.”

“You won’t, I swear.” He said softly, catching her eye and moving forward slowly. “All I want to do is be with you, hold you.” She turned her face away as he approached her, unable to move away physically. “Kiss you.” His hand began to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his knuckle continue softly down her neck, her back and around to wrap his hand on her hip as he nuzzled against her. 

Jenny closed her eyes, denying herself the ability to cry right now. “I think you should go.” She whispered. Mike was silent, so she forced herself to continue. “You can take my car, Chester can bring it back tomorrow, I have nowhere I need to be tonight.”

“Jenny please…”

“Go.” She said, shaking the more she held back her tears. She looked him in the eye to drive her point through; she knew he could see them welling in her eyes but she meant what she said. His face wore the look of pain and disbelief as he slowly turned to walk away, grabbing her keys and leaving without another word.


	24. Chapter 24

Mike walked into his apartment to Chester munching on a bag of Cheeto’s on the couch with the remote in hand. “Hey! You’re home earlier than I expected.” He said inquisitively.

“Yeah well. I just missed you.” Mike replied, walking behind the couch to place a kiss from above on his lover’s forehead before walking into the kitchen. “Plus, I couldn’t let you starve.” Chester stood and followed him, hopping up onto the counter while Mike took out pork chops to make them for dinner.

“So tell me, how was it?”

“She doesn’t feel the same way. Nothing happened.” Mike said flatly.

“What? But you had said something already happened.”

“I tried to kiss her, she told me to call you. After that I kissed her again and she told me to go.”

Chester was shocked; this was the complete opposite of how things should have gone, he thought. “Maybe you came off the wrong way. Were you being forceful? Maybe you should have been gentle. Maybe she…”

“Damnit Chester she doesn’t love me!” he turned to face him and as he said the words, he listened to them and they stung. “She doesn’t….she doesn’t love me the way I love her.” He finished softly.

Chester could see the hurt in Mike’s eyes, hating that what should have been there instead was love and giddy feelings. “Mike, I’m sorry.”

Mike nodded slightly and turned back to the food. “Well, things happen the way they do. It’s not your fault. I should have just left well enough alone.”

Chester ran through what he had said, thinking about interactions between Mike and Jenny and trying to see how he could have misinterpreted her looks and feelings for him wrong; it just didn’t make sense. “So, then how did you get here?”

“She let me take her car.”

“Well that’s good, that means you have a reason to go back, you have to get it back to her.”

“She wants you to bring it back.”

“Oh. Well, you two are still friends, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I mean, we can’t just not be friends. We mean too much to each other.”

“I’m sorry I meddled. You were just so uncomfortable this morning.”

“I know. It doesn’t bother me so much now baby. Thank you.”

 

The next morning Chester took Jenny’s car back to her house, telling Mike to pick him up in an hour. He knocked on her door; when she opened it she hid mostly behind the door. “Hey, thank you.” She said.

“It’s not a problem. Can we talk?”

“Uh, yeah I suppose. I’m all disheveled, I just woke up like 10 minutes ago.”

“I don’t care, you’re just as beautiful!” He said with a beaming smile as he let himself in.

Jenny smirked. “I’ll go make coffee.”

Chester stood in the living room and tried to think about what he was going to say to her when she returned. He heard her shuffling back to the room and greeted her with another smile. “Breakfast is brewing.” She said.

Chester chuckled. “I trust you slept well?”

“What sleep I got, sure.” She took a seat on the couch.

“I bet you would have slept a lot better if you had had a man to cuddle with.”

“Don’t tell me that’s what you came all the way over here to talk about.”

“Help me understand.” He said with a consoling tone, sitting next to her and facing her, taking her hand in his.

“It was a nice thing for you to do, to let him get his ‘feelings’ off his chest, but it didn’t really change anything.”

“What happened?”

Jenny let the images playback in her mind again, the feelings rushing her once more. “I told him about what my dad did to me. That was hard enough. Then he shows me that he carved our initials into our tree with a heart around them when he was younger and says that he loves me. I drove us back here while it was pouring outside. When I got out he stops me and tells me all these things like how he wanted to tell me before and that he’d never felt like this for another woman and that he thought you knew what you were doing when you left in the morning.”

“So of course we get soaked and the power was out. I go upstairs to get him dry clothes and he follows me up to my dark room and kisses me, only I told him to call you. After we both talked to you more words were said and he kissed me again, only this time it was….different.”

“Different how?”

Jenny swallowed. “Different like, like he had waited forever to kiss me.” Her eyes fell to the floor, not wanting to share the rest of the details about kissing his boyfriend. “In the end I told him to go home.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“I never said I don’t love him, of course I love him.”

“You know what I mean, answer the question.”

“I just don’t see what good can come from this. He’s with you and it could have gone really good, but it would have ended really badly for everyone. There is nothing more to say.”

“I appreciate your respect, but he’s at home hurting now and I have to fix it.”

“You pushed him towards me Chester, it’s kind of your problem to fix.”

“Come back with me.”

“What? No!”

“Come back with me and be honest with him. If it makes you feel better I’ll stand in the room with you but he thinks you don’t love him and it’s killing him.”

“He knows I love him.”

“But he doesn’t know you’re in love with him.”

Jenny stared at Chester, hating that he knew her secret. “I couldn’t do that to him or to you. I told him what I did to help him. He deserves something better than me, I’m just too selfish to lose him completely.”

“He will never get over you, you know. He’s going to settle for me and yearn for you.”

Jenny started to cry. “So what am I supposed to do? You put me in this position! Why should I have to give up my best friend? He’s the one person that I fought so hard to live for! He’s the only reason I didn’t off myself at 15! I had them, Chester. I had an entire bottle of sleeping pills. I didn’t want to wake up, I never want to have to remember what had happened. But instead what did I do? I went over to Mike’s and being there next to him, I couldn’t imagine never seeing his face again.” Tears were streaming down her face as she confessed her feelings for Mike to Chester. “I knew back then that I was in love with him but I needed a friend. I kept it quiet, and when I saw him again I still kept it quiet, even before I knew you two were together. If I lose him because I fucked it up with trying to be with him rather than just being his friend I would die, Chester.”

Chester understood how she felt. He knew what a world without Mike was, and it wasn’t a good thing. He could see how her fear of losing him would make her so willing to live without ever knowing his touch; only now she knew it, and she’d have to go on knowing she’d never have it again. The only thing she had left to hold onto was the dignity of never telling him her feelings.

Chester nodded, sadness in his eyes. “I understand. I’m sorry Jenny, it was selfish of me to do something like this. I thought it would be a good thing.”

“I know.” She said, sniffling.

He saw Mike pull up near the drive way, parallel parking in front of her house; he gave her a sad smile and stood, kissing her forehead. “Love you.”


	25. Chapter 25

Three weeks passed before Mike had time to gather the courage to text her. WB had offered them a contract a week ago and they had been busy getting their lives in order. When they got the call, he wanted to call her and tell her right away, and it made his heart drop knowing her couldn’t just yet. She’ll know soon if she didn’t already, he thought.

Today was his first day off from the studio. He had slept in and checked in at the music shop and then met his parents for lunch. They had asked him when he was going to bring Jenny over for dinner and he just lied and said they were all so busy with work and she had crazy hours. “Sometime, I promise.” He said.

Chester was working in the studio, he was home alone. He figured she was probably at work and wouldn’t be able to answer anyways; now was a good time.

Mike – Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing. Been in the studio most of the week, I’m sure you heard the news. It’s pretty exciting, and the record won’t take long to get in order.

He hit send, but after thinking it over he added: Miss you.

 

Jenny sat in a meeting listening to another rep gloat about sales numbers he had generated and the latest news on his artists. She had been sitting in that chair for the last hour and a half, only talking when she presented her statistics. They had one every month and they were ALWAYS mandatory.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, making her thankful for a distraction. She looked at her phone and signed to her boss that she “had to take this.” She backed her chair out and left to take her supposed call. When she actually did read his name, it made her stomach flip from both anticipation and relief. She had wondered if he’d ever talk to her again.

After reading the message she felt a little better, knowing the time since they had last spoke hadn’t been extended solely based on his not wanting to speak to her. She had been running on numb and throwing herself into her work to keep her mind off of it.

He was right, she had heard about their contract; their manager had told her before he called Mike. She was supposed to be helping them in the studio but she had enough other clients to make it seem like she didn’t have the time.

Jenny – Hey, yeah I heard, congratulations. I’m really happy for you guys. How is Chester?

Mike had stared at his phone, willing her to respond. When she did he was relieved before he even read it; no matter what it said, it was better than her ignoring him. He was disappointed when she hadn’t said she missed him too, but he didn’t blame her. As he began typing she wrote him again, this time saying: Miss you too.

Mike smiled and asked her if she was at work. She said she’d be off in a few hours. Would she want to join them for dinner? They had held off on celebrating because Dave kept trying to get a chance to come back to town for a night from his tour, but it wasn’t looking positive so they decided just to do it. She took a few minutes to reply, making him wonder if he had jumped the gun; he had hit the ground running with the excitement that she was talking to him. He needed to say more.

Mike – The whole group is gonna be there except Dave, of course. It’d be really cool if you could come. I promise I won’t make it weird.  
Jenny – Sure, I’ll come. Let me know when and where.  
Mike – Ok.

Mike was glad she couldn’t see the grin on his face. 

 

The group sat at their table at Applebee’s later that night with pitchers of beer and sharable appetizers. Jenny hadn’t shown up yet but she was on her way. Mike was more nervous than he had anticipated and was worried he’d do something stupid because of it. Chester had been ecstatic to know she was coming and it made him feel a little better; he said he’d help buffer between them if things got awkward. Mike smiled and kissed him.

Chester excused himself to smoke with Mike close behind. They sat casually on the bench outside joking with each other and flirting. Mike was wearing his hat on backwards and Chester kept trying to steal it, losing when Mike attacked him with tickling which resulted in him dropping his cigarette. “Damn you Shinoda!” He screeched between giggles.

“You don’t need those cancer sticks anyways, Bennington.” A familiar voice said. They both looked up to see Jenny standing near the door, watching their antics with a humored smiled.

“I gotta feed the need sometimes, baby!” Chester replied.

“Whatever. Tell it to someone who believes you. Are you two about done teasing each other out here?”

Mike laughed. “I think I got my point across. C’mon Chaz.” He stood and got the door for her and held it for Chester too. They took their seats after she announced her hello; Jenny ordered herself a drink and munched on some of Chester’s fries while she waited. They all excitedly told her about their contract and how much fun the studio had been so far.

Jenny laughed with them and answered some of their questions. She asked if they had considered their album cover yet. “Mike and I have been kinda working on something together. We couldn’t use the one we wanted to but I’m sure it will be pretty cool.” Replied Joe.

“Oh, you were an art major too, Joe?” she said.

“Yeah, we graduated together!”

“Oh! That’s cool. What about the rest of you?” They all shared their stories on how they met Mike and where they learned how to play music. By the time her second drink came to the table and their fourth round of pitchers she could hear them begin to slur their words. It was funny to watch them tease each other; Chester was louder than usual when he was drunk and he had her laughing so hard she was crying.

On her way back from the restroom the waitress brought their check. Jenny handed over her card and said she’d cover it, waiving away a chorus of denials to let her pay for them. “You guys can take care of the tip. I got the check.” They found that fair. After signing her receipt, they started walking to their cars; Chester linked his arm in hers and said he wanted to ride home with her.

Jenny laughed. “Chester, you don’t live with me!”

“Take me to my home! I wanna ride in your fancy car, not Mike’s crappy car.”

“Hey! My car isn’t crappy!” Mike retorted.

“It doesn’t have leather seats.” Chester challenged him.

“No, but I don’t hear you complaining on hot days when you ride shirtless.”

“Well I’m not shirtless now, and I wanna ride with Jenny.”

Jenny smiled and tried not to make it seem like she didn’t want to go to Mike’s place. “Ok fine, it’s fine. I’ll bring him. Are you going straight home?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

 

On the ride over Chester shared details about Mike with her that she wished he hadn’t, but she laughed anyways. He told her how Mike’s weak spot was his neck and how when they had sex it felt like he was fucking him with a 10 inch metal pole. Jenny blushed and giggled when she stopped him after that but she couldn’t help appreciating him confirming her curiosity after all these years.

As she pulled up to the apartment building Chester begged her to come up with him. She tried her best to talk her way out of it but he wasn’t hearing her, getting out and standing behind her car until she got out. “You know, you’re lucky you’re so cute Chaz. I have half a mind to kick your ass.”

“You LOVE me!” He giggled as he pulled her up to the second floor. Jenny just shook her head and tried to prepare herself to see Mike.

Chester announced their arrival the second he opened the door; the TV was on but Mike was in the kitchen. “HONEY I’M HOME! AND I BROUGHT A PRESENT!”

“Chester!” Jenny scolded.

“What? You’re not the present. The present’s in my pants.” He said with a sly wink. She burst out laughing. “MIKEY!! MIKEY WHERE ARE YOU!” He continued yelling as he went into the kitchen. Jenny set her things on the coffee table and took a seat. She could hear them talking, Chester only a few decibels lower than before; he was trying to coerce him into the bedroom to fuck before they came out to hang out with her. “No that’s rude!” Mike said but she could hear Chester’s seduction; it made her blush and ashamed that she wanted to watch.

Mike poked his head into the living room and said he and Chester were going to go into the room for a minute and they’d be right back out. Jenny smirked and said “Ok” with a knowing smile.

As they closed the door Jenny took off her shoes and found the remote, changing it to MTV to watch the top 20 hits countdown. During a commercial break she muted it, not thinking about what was going on in the other room. She heard muffled voices at first, but they quickly grew louder. She wasn’t convinced who was who until Chester said “Come on Mike fuck me harder!”

Her curiosity got the best of her; she walked quietly to stand just outside the door, putting her ear near it but not on it; there were noises and more grunting, cursing and then loud moaning. Jenny had to keep herself from moaning as she visualized their climax, wishing more than anything that she had temporary x-ray vision at the moment.

When all went quiet, she rushed back to the couch and unmuted the TV minutes before Chester exited the room. “I need a beer!” he sang just before letting out a loud belch. 

“Me too!” She heard the refrigerator door open and close and then a beer was offered next to her. “Where’s Mike?” she asked.

“Taking a shower. He didn’t want to smell like sex.” He replied as he took a seat next to her with only basketball shorts on.

“Not you though, huh?” she teased.

“I washed my hands.” He said as he took a sip of his beer, making her laugh.

“Gee thanks. I don’t know where they’ve been.”

“On Mike’s dick.” He tried to say it with a straight face but he watched her turn bright red and he lost it. She covered her eyes while she giggled, embarrassed; his laughter was beautiful.

“What’s so funny?” Mike asked. Jenny shot Chester a death look.

“Nothing.” He said instead.

 

Later after Mike helped Chester to bed he came back out to sit with Jenny until she sobered up enough to drive home. She cursed herself for not pacing herself but it was the shot of tequila Chester talked her into that got her in trouble. “Thanks for inviting me to dinner, I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too!” he said, pausing before he added “I can’t believe this is happening. I still feel like I’m in shock.”

“I bet.” Their eyes met for a moment and they smiled when she looked away. “I’m so proud of you guys. You worked so hard for this.”

“When we got the call my first initial reaction was to call you. I was worried it was too soon though.”

Jenny shrugged. “Dan told me before he called you. I knew before you did.” She said with a teasing smile.

“No shit! Well that just spoils all the fun.”

“I’m not the one making the music. He only told me because he wanted me to help you guys in the studio.”

Mike’s smile faded slowly as he realized why she wasn’t. “Oh.”

“I wasn’t ready either.”

“Yeah, I know.” He forced a smiled and said “No rush.”

“Exactly.” The atmosphere had grown awkward now. She hadn’t intended to turn it that way. Thankfully she felt she was sober enough to drive home. “I should…”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll walk you out.”

“Oh, no you don’t have to.”

“It’s dark out, I want to make sure you don’t get mugged.”

“Oh, gee thanks.” She said sarcastically. He held the door and flashed her his big, gorgeous, playful smile that she couldn’t help but return.

When they reached her car, she set her purse on the hood and wrapped her arms around his torso for a hug, laying her head against his chest. He immediately reciprocated. “We gotta get passed this.” She said.

“I know, and we will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head as she reluctantly pulled away. When he turned to walk to the sidewalk she grabbed for his hat, slipping it off his head. He turned and laughed playfully, his hand automatically going to his hair. She placed it on her head with a victorious smile. “Got it!”

He grinned and said “It looks better on you anyways.”

“Talk to you tomorrow, Shinoda.” She replied as she got into her car.


	26. Chapter 26

As weeks turned into months in the studio, Chester observed the change in the relationship between Mike and Jenny. The carefree, affectionate love they used to have was now limited to hugs for greetings and goodbyes. There was no cuddling on the couch, no arm linking while they walked down the hall; it pained him to know it was because they were trying to ease the pain of not being together. He’d catch Jenny staring at Mike from time to time and the longing in her eyes was something he knew all too well.

The album was in the mixing process, there had been talk about their tour. Jenny refused to be in the room for any of tour meetings, though, and it confused Mike. She had seem withdrawn the past few days, more so than their new normal; he made a mental note to ask her about it later before she left the office. He joined his band in the meeting room and listened to the list of cities they would be visiting in a few months.

Afterwards Dave and Mike went to the kitchen area at the studio to brew a fresh pot of coffee. They began talking about the tour and which place they were most excited about. Dave had a friend in town who would be moving into his apartment while they were gone. He had brought him into the studio a few times and introduced him to a few people. He brought him up, saying he had been to New York before and how the traffic was unimaginable.

“I bet he’ll be happy to live in the suburbs here, then.” Mike said.

“Yeah, he’s looking forward to having a break from his norm. He, uh, seems to have taken a liking to Jenny too, huh?” Dave asked.

Mike poured the fresh caffeine into his mug. “What do you mean?”

“I saw them talking earlier, he said they have a date tonight.”

Mike’s heart dropped, but pretended it didn’t bother him. “Oh really? I didn’t know that.”

“Oh. Well yeah, I think it’s just dinner or something.” Dave replied as he sipped his drink.

Mike left the room and walked to the studio where Chester was in the audio booth ready to run through the song again. “Come on Chester, stop overthinking it, just fucking do it.” Said Brad, the perfectionist. Mike also was a perfectionist, but he was open to other ways to make it perfect; Brad had to have it just so.

They ran the track and Chester nailed it. Mike sat quietly sipping his coffee and gave him a thumbs up when he had finished. Brad left to take a break and Chester came to sit next to Mike.

“You look tired.”

“I’m OK.” Mike said, his voice deeper than usual.

“Really?” he asked again, receiving only a nod but no eye contact. “Why don’t I buy that?”

“It’s…it’s nothing, really. Just, apparently Dave’s friend is taking Jenny out to dinner tonight.”

“Oh. That’s news to me. She never told me that.”

“Yeah well. I guess I have to get used to the idea sooner rather than later.”

 

The next day Mike was at the studio early; Chester grabbed a ride from Brad. Jenny stopped by the studio on her way to a meeting and noticed Mike didn’t even look at her; it made her anxiety stir with the feeling of being in trouble. Chester picked up on his hostility too and tried to cover it up with a kiss on her cheek and a smile. “Have a good meeting, we’ll see you later.” He said as she left.

Chester gave Mike a disapproving look. “What?” Mike asked defensively.

“You know what, Shinoda. Don’t play stupid.”

“Should I go?” Brad asked, sensing the tension.

“No, it’s fine. We have work to do.” Said Chester bitterly. 

During lunchtime Chester and Brad left to get food; Mike stayed in the studio to finish up. Jenny had to pass his room on the way back to her office. She stood just before the door, contemplating if she should say anything; her gut couldn’t take him being mad at her, especially when she didn’t know why. She had to know. She walked in and leaned against the open doorway. “Hey.” She said softly.

“Hey.” Mike said, eyes still on the screen.

“I thought you guys were done?”

“We are. Just last-minute touch ups.”

Jenny nodded, but wasn’t sure what to say after that. The hostility from earlier was thick in the air. “How was the date?” he asked finally.

“Date?”

“With Dave’s friend.”

Jenny was surprised; she hadn’t told him, but of course Dave would tell him. “I, uh…it went ok.” She lied.

“Yeah I heard he was moving here while we’re gone.”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” He said, his tone making it clear he was done talking to her; it felt like a knife in her heart.

“Ok well. Bye.” She said, rushing to her office.


	27. Chapter 27

The album had been released and consumed by listeners all over the US. Their tour was booked, giving them a month to spend time with their families. Mike and Jenny had still been distant and Chester knew he had to do something to fix it before they left. He had tried to text her a few hours ago, but she hadn’t responded. Her office had been empty since they arrived for the announcement meeting and the receptionist was of no help.

Mike hadn’t been sleeping well the past few nights; he was talking in his sleep and it worried Chester. He and Jenny had their own demons to fight, theirs were emotional scars, but Mike’s only sin was loving people too much. He didn’t always understand why Chester felt the way he felt, but he loved him despite that; he knew it was the same with Jenny. That was, after all, what had drawn Mike to Chester. He reminded him of the way she made him feel and they both needed him for his strength.

He watched Mike go through the motions, at odds with himself for feeling happy with their progress and then feeling guilty for not taking advantage of the day and trying to make things right with his best friend. He had withdrawn that part from Chester and it pained him that he had put them in that position. Neither of them felt they could talk to him about each other now.

They stood in the lobby planning their week together, letting each other know where they’d be. Mike would be helping his brother pack for college and spending a few nights at his parents. Chester would be going to Arizona for a few days to talk to his wife and parents. Dave would be going to Arizona to see his girlfriend later in the week and would pick him up to bring him back. Joe, Rob and Dave only had to go through their things.

Mike brought Chester back to the apartment and helped his lover pack his bags for the week. Jenny weighed heavily on his mind, debating with himself whether he should try to call her. If she was distancing herself, shouldn’t he respect that? Then again, wasn’t that what he did last time?

Chester noticed Mike was quiet as he stuffed his shirts in his duffle bag. He gently placed his hand on his arm, making him pause and catch his eye. “I’m gonna miss you.” Chester confessed.

Mike gave him a half smile. “I know you will, but I’m going to miss you more.” He zipped the bag and wrapped the older man in his arms. “I love you so much.”

“Are you going to be OK at your parent’s this week?”

“Yeah, sure. Dad and I are going to spend some time together tomorrow, it’ll be fine.” Mike reassured him.

“Maybe you should try to call her, or text her, you know? You only have so much time left before we leave.”

“You know, I don’t want to talk about her right now. Right now, I have this amazing, beautiful man in my arms and the only thing I’m thinking about is making him moan.”

“But Mike don’t you think…” he began, but Mike hushed him with a kiss. His body was being caressed by the Asian and causing tingles to run all over his skin; his shirt was removed and then suddenly he was turned around, hands supporting him as he bent over the side of the bed.

Mike’s hot mouth moved from his ears down to his shoulders. He stopped momentarily to remove his own shirt, connecting his chest to the other man’s back as his placed a wet kiss on his shoulder. His lips hovered near Chester’s ear; his hand lay flat on his stomach and the other flat against his chest, holding him to him. “I want to feel close to you before we have to be so far away. And while you’re gone…” he spoke as his hand ever so slowly crept down south, “I want you to remember me just like this, how this feels right here.” He pushed his hand inside the basketball shorts he wore, finding him half-staff from the heat of their skin.

He heard him swallow in his ear, the lightheadedness of pleasure beginning to take over as Mike began to help the blood flow down below. “You are beautiful, and I love you so much, Chester. You are mine, and as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours. No matter what.” Chester was shivering, held in place only by Mike’s hands; the stirring in his groin was growing and he felt powerless.

Mike stroked him, motivated by the need to feel and hear him explode. Chester was panting and beginning to hump his hand as it moved along him. Mike took his other hand and sucked on his fingers, lathering them with saliva before circling his entrance, teasing him. He could see him visibly shaking with need, his thrusting more prominent as he strived for pleasure whether it be stroking or penetration. He jerked faster as his own cock grew closer to the edge. “My god you are a sight to be seen, Chazzy. You are so fucking beautiful when you want me. Tell me how good it feels.”

“Mikey I want to cum! I’m so close. I need more, please!” He begged, jutting back in an attempt to deepen his penetration. Tears fell down his cheeks as the need overcame him. “Please please please.”

Mike slid in the tips, petting his insides as Chester let sounds escape him that he’d never heard before. Fuck this is hot, he thought to himself. His thumb nail dug into the head of his lover’s cock along the slit, rubbing the weeping precum along the sensitive nerve endings. “This, this right here. This is what I do to you, and this is what I want you to remember. I make you feel just like this.”

“Oh god Mikey please!”

Mike forced Chester’s shorts down and thrust himself inside, never letting go of his lover’s shaft. Chester moaned and cried out as he fucked him to the brink, his pleasure spilling out onto the bed until Mike had had enough.

 

That night after Chester had left for Arizona Mike went to his parent’s and settled into his old room. He had an unexpected feeling of nostalgia as he placed his clothes into the dresser and put his shower supplies in the bathroom. He took a seat on the bed and let the memories flow, avoiding the last one he had made with Jenny in his room.

Throughout the night he waited for questions about her from his parents; he dreaded them because he had no answer to give them. Was he still talking to her? Is she OK? What happened between them now? He couldn’t tell them what they wanted to hear.

“Michael, what’s bother you?” his mother asked as he sat on the piano bench absentmindedly playing.

“Nothing Mom, I’m just a little stressed. I’m not sure what to expect when we leave. I want it to go perfectly, but what if we don’t make it?”

“I think that no matter what comes of this, you still have your best friends, and you have a family who loves you unconditionally.”

“But what if something goes wrong? What if I can’t fix it?”

His mother looked at him with concern, sensing an underlying issue in his questions. “You can’t fix everything, Michael, and not everything is worth fixing.”

“How will I know if it’s worth fixing?”

“If you feel passionately about it, then you will make it work. If it’s something you truly love, it will always have a place in your heart. Even if you have to abandon it temporarily, you will come back to it.”

Mike heard her words and appreciated them; how did she always know just what to say? He smiled at her and kissed her cheek. “Thanks Mom.”

Mike let himself drift off to sleep with thoughts of Chester leading the way. He dreamt of Chester in his room giving him oral in his computer chair, when he found him half naked in the spare bedroom. _BOOM!_ Thunder clapped outside, stirring him from that dream and into another one, one where Jenny was dripping wet in his bedroom, crying with a busted lip; the night before she left. The memory had slipped in against his attempt to avoid it. He was cleaning her cut and listening to her talk, hurting for her, only this time he kissed her. She was surprised but she kissed him back, climbing into his lap and needing the comfort he was offering physically. His hand began to slide under her shirt and…

 _BOOM!_ Mike shot up quickly, scared out of his sleep as lighting flashed on his walls. He caught his breath and rolled his eyes as he became aware of the tent between his legs. He cursed his subconscious and laid back down. 

_KNOCK_ He let out a frustrated sigh; since when had this room being so noisy? Must be a tree branch hitting the window. _KNOCK_ What tree branch? He realized. He got out of bed and looked out the window.


	28. Chapter 28

'This must be de ja vu', he thought to himself. Down below on the ground Jenny was tossing rocks up to his window to get his attention. He opened the window as she whispered as loud as she could “Can I come up?”

Mike signaled for her to climb up, his mind racing for reasons why she would be there and what he would do once she was up there, in his room with him, alone. An initial feeling of panic surged him the way it used to when she appeared at his window; back then, he had a 50/50 chance that it was a bad thing. This time though, they were adults, and he had been what pushed her away. All of it made him very confused.

He watched her swing her leg over the ledge like she used to and pull herself in easily, surprised her adult frame didn’t pose any extra challenge to her. Suddenly they were teenagers again, hormones raging and the drama a normal part of everyday life. The immediate urge to hold her nearly consumed him but he held himself back. “How did you know I’d be here?” he whispered so as not to get caught.

“Chester stopped by my house on his way to Arizona.” She was whispering too as if they were stuck in their teenage actions with an adult conversation.

Damn you Chaz, he thought. “What did he say?”

She seemed torn with herself on whether to tell him, biting her lip with the pain in her eyes that seemed to be all she ever felt when she was there; he didn’t want it to be that way forever. “I didn’t answer the door, I wasn’t…up for visitors.” She walked further into the room, taking a sharp turn before she continued. “He left me a note taped to my door.”

Mike walked towards her slowly, apprehensively. The rain had started now, leaving odd shadows across his wall from the glass, lightning strikes lighting up the room momentarily. There was a charge in the room now that made his breathing heavy and a chill to rush through them. “What did the note say?” He was close to her now, five steps more and he’d be right in front of her.

“It…it said…” she was stammering under his glare; the look in his eyes wasn’t something she recognized. It was almost…commanding.

“What did it say, Jenny?” His whisper had changed into a husky low tone, daring her to answer his question with anything other than what he wanted to hear.

Her rebellion for authority kicked in. She looked him in the eyes and said simply “Last chance.” He stopped inches from her; she hadn’t realized it but in the process of their exchange she had backed herself against the wall. They held each other’s gaze as if challenging the other to make a move, waiting for a sign one way or the other.

He watched the rebellion fall away, replaced by sincerity as she whispered “I love you.” She held his face and kissed him, pulling him towards her, his body pinning her to the wall. His hand found hers and intertwined, their lips conveyed their love. In this moment, nothing mattered but what was happening in that room.

Jenny was nervous but she knew everything would be OK. She was in Mike’s arms, and he would protect her from anything. She let her walls fall and gave herself to him, willing every ounce of passion into their kiss. His tongue darted into her mouth and she let him guide her, not caring that she had no idea what she was doing. He was awakening her from the inside out and her skin felt on fire each time her touched her.

When they came up for air, it suddenly occurred to her where this was going. It scared her a little, a flash memory of the one and only time she had ever had experience with sex causing her to shiver with fear. Mike saw the reflection in her eyes. “Jenny?”

She closed her eyes, hearing him speak her name with a voice thick with adoration. “I’ve..never..”

“I’ve never either, not with a girl.” He replied softly, leading her towards him as he walked slowly backwards towards the bed. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

She tried her damnedest to push the emotional pain away but when they reached the bed, she couldn’t keep the welled-up tears from falling. He wiped them away with his thumbs and kissed her. “I’m here now. Do you trust me?”

She took a breath and met his beautiful brown gems. “With my life.”

Mike melted at her response; her life, the life that he so treasured and thought he had lost. The life he was getting a second chance with. His mother’s words played back in his mind. “If it’s something you truly love, it will always have a place in your heart. Even if you have to abandon it temporarily, you will come back to it.”

They removed their clothes in front of each other, exploring their bodies with their eyes before lying on the bed, drawn to each other immediately. He wrapped her in his arms as he laid next to her, kissing her into comfort. Her hands ran through his hair and down to his chest, up to his shoulder and down to his hand that she took and placed on her breast.

He moved his lips down to her neck all the way down to her nipple, gently toying with her as her body reciprocated. He watched her bite her lip and close her eyes, guarding her noises; it made him smile at her innocence. He switched to the other nub already at attention, squeezing the former between his fingers.

“You OK?” he asked, trailing kisses down to her belly; he could hear her breathing hitch with each one.

“Mmm-hmm.” She replied. He was struggling to keep himself in check, knowing how good pleasure could feel and anxious to share it with her. He wanted to make her feel like she was on cloud nine.

He had maneuvered his body between her legs while attending to her dirty pillows; continuing his kissing along her navel he let his hand wander to her hip and down between her thighs. Her hip raised at his touch but he kept going, petting her nether lips as she gasped and moaned against her control. He watched her face as it displayed her pleasure, moaning more when he found her clit.

His member pulsed, begging for attention while he busied himself with focusing on her. The need to kiss her overwhelmed him. “God, you are amazing.” He whispered between kisses. She felt him pulsing against her and let her hand find him, firm and sizeable in her grip. She let her fingers run along the shaft and watched him bite his lip, realizing the power she had over him.

He wrapped his hand around hers on him, showing her how to make him feel good. He saw the flicker of excitement flash in her eyes and it turned him on even more, letting her know with a moan. He decided she was ready for preparation, trailing his fingers down to her love hole, penetrating her with a single finger. Her hand stopped moving as she tensed. “Tell me if I’m hurting you baby.” He cooed.

The more she let herself relax the better it felt. She bit her lip and let her hands run down her body to her hips. “More.” She moaned.

He inserted another and watched her arch her back; he couldn’t help but grab himself. She opened her eyes and watched her effect on him, his face creased with his struggle for control over himself. “Do you want me?”

Mike nearly let himself go from the seduction in her voice. “Yes.” He breathed.

“I’m ready.” She purred.

Mike grabbed a condom from his bedside table and climbed between her legs, the scent of her sex making him rush to get it on. She sat up on her hands, waiting for him to kiss her as he laid her back down. He hovered over her, his hand directing him to her entrance as he pushed. 

Inch by inch she accepted him. The difference between her and Chester wasn’t what he had expected. The natural lubrication was a whole new feeling and it was driving him crazy. He fought himself from driving all the way in and making her feel the pleasure like he knew he could. “Oh my god!” she moaned softly.

“Yeah?” he said with a sly smile.

“Are you…in all the way?” she asked, panting.

“Almost.”

“Just give it all to me. I want to get to the good part.”

He felt his dominant nature smile at her request, biting his lip in an attempt to hide his smile. He found her hand and pinned it above her head, lacing their fingers together as he drove into her. Her other hand caressed his back and held on with her nails, expressing her need. “Oh god!” she moaned, encouraging him even more. He supported himself and went faster, making her moans consistent.

“Fuck you feel so good Jenny. I want to feel you cum.” He moaned into her ear, reaching down to pet her clit as he made love to her. Seconds later her muscles were gripping him and her body was shaking, covering her mouth as she nearly screamed in pleasure. Mike bit his own lip as he ejaculated into the condom, her pulsing and bucking driving him to the edge.

 

His clock illuminated the time, letting him know it was nearly midnight. They basked in the afterglow, listening to the rain and holding each other with sweet caresses. Jenny had never felt so close to anyone in her entire life; she had spent her days avoiding physical contact, never letting anyone in. Mike was the only one she trusted to touch her, and though their situation was less than ideal, she was happy he had been the one to open her eyes.

Mike kissed her forehead and stood to put on his boxers to go to the bathroom in the hallway. She decided to get dressed, finding it difficult to find her clothes. She recovered her panties and her shirt before he returned. “Are you leaving?” he asked.

He walked to her while she turned her shirt from inside out. “The rain stopped, I figured I should try to make it to my car before it starts again.” Mike gently grabbed for her hands, causing her to drop the shirt when he pulled her close and kissed her, seemingly oblivious to what she just said. Their skin on skin contact made her feel something new, a confidence she hadn’t known before.

He wrapped her arms around him and his around her. “I don’t want you to leave. You have to stay.”

Jenny giggled. “Why’s that?”

Mike nuzzled into her neck, moving them towards the bed as he said “I could have sworn there was an important reason…” making her fall back in a fit of giggles.

They laid across the bed, the air between them free of judgement and insecurities; for the first time, she felt completely comfortable in her own skin. “Thank you for being my first.” She said, then rolled her eyes with a smile and said “Well, consented first.”

“Thank YOU for letting me. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance.” He confessed. “I thought my chances were shot when you went on that date the other night.”

“That really bothered you?” she asked, humored.

“Just a bit.”

She laughed mockingly, trying to keep quiet. “I didn’t even go!”

Mike smiled “What?”

“I didn’t go! Fuck, that’s what you’ve been so mad at me about? I thought you were mad because…well, the original issue.”

“Why didn’t you go?” he asked, his eyes wild and playful now.

Jenny noticed the look as her smile faded, worried she had given him false hope they were going to have a future past his window. “I wasn’t interested in dating him in the least. I only said I’d go because I knew they’d talk about it.”

“Were you trying to make me jealous?” Mike was surprised, she was never one to play these kinds of games.

“No, but I was trying to get your focus off of me so you could stop sulking about us. If you thought I was moving on maybe you would too.”

“Jenny the only reason I was so affected by us was because you wouldn’t admit to me that you loved me. I was beginning to think you didn’t, and I was confused how I had been so sure.”

She wanted to argue, to ask why it meant anything different now but she didn’t want to lose this feeling; she’d only ever get to feel it once. “I do love you. I just don’t want to lose you.”

Mike kissed her softly. “You will never lose me. You came back to me, I’m never going to let you go again.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* Possible triggers in second half. Please do not read past their departure if you are sensitive to these things.

When Chester returned from Arizona with Dave he was dropped off at Mike’s apartment. They returned to town soon after sunset, the cool air blowing softly against him as he climbed the outside steps to the second floor; the door was unlocked as promised. Walking into the dark living room her set his backpack down near the door, noticing the faint hum of music coming from another room. The only light save for the nightlight in the kitchen was a soft glow illuminating from the bedroom. Chester walked to the half-closed door and pushed gently, taking in the scene as it unfolded before him.

A bed littered with rose petals, flames of candles dancing on the walls, music droning in the background as warm and welcoming as the half-naked man sitting in wait. Mike rose and closed the distance between them, capturing him into the deepest, most romantic kiss Chester had ever experience. Not one word left their lips; they spoke their own language with their eyes and their touch, falling in love all over again. Chester had spent his week wrapped in so much negativity, arguing with his wife and listening to the disappointment of his parents but all of that fell away the second Mike touched him. Mike kissed all of the problems of the world away, he shut all of the darkness out and forced him to focus on the light he represented.

 

As their departure date grew closer, the pang in Jenny’s heart grew stronger. It shocked her that things hadn’t turned awkward between her and Mike, or even Chester for that matter. She had called Chaz the next day to talk about it and to thank him for pushing her. The three of them had become a close knitted group for the past two weeks since Chester’s return, always around each other and always aware of each other’s whereabouts. The rest of the band attributed it to them wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before they left, but that was only partially true.

Jenny knew that she was only making it worse for herself by hanging around them so much, but she could crash and burn once they were gone; she was used to picking up the pieces on her own. She could keep up her strong front until they were gone, but she couldn’t recover with them there.

After seeing a movie, they hung out at a coffee shop near the highway, easy access for Chester and Mike to get back home and only fifteen minutes from Jenny’s house. She made it a point to sit across from them at the table and not next to them, beginning her withdrawal process. This would be the last time she saw them for who knows how long; they had a plane to catch in the morning. She pushed the thought out of her mind, focusing on the now rather than the later.

They started talking about their packing, making sure they had thought of last minute things. Mike had given her the key to his apartment; she was to check on it once a week until the lease was up in two months. The rent was paid out and his father would take care of the bills.

He had finally brought her over for dinner last week to reconnect with his parents. Jenny had been anxious the majority of the time from all of his parent’s questions, feeling out of place in their big fancy home just as much as she had when she was younger. She had excused herself to the bathroom and when she came out Mike was waiting with a soft, reassuring kiss; a kiss that gave her security that she wasn’t there alone.

As they threw away their coffee cups and walked towards the door she began to feel the panic rise, praying it held off until they were gone and on the road. She wrapped her shaking hands around herself as she walked out of the door Mike held open for her, flashing him a quick smile. They stood around his car talking, Chester sitting on the trunk smoking as the sun set in the Los Angeles skyline behind them. Jenny leaned against his knee, keeping her distance from Mike. Chester shared his cigarette with her while they joked about what crazy things they had to look forward to from fans. Once it burned to the end, Jenny announced she needed to get home. She hugged Chester tightly and reminded him as he was getting into the car not to hesitate if he had questions about anything.

Mike knew she was trying her best not to show him how badly she was dreading this but he wasn’t letting her leave without a goodbye. “C’mon shorty, bring it in.” he teased with open arms. She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his slim torso, imprinting his scent into her brain. He squeezed her tight, feeling her bones shake under his grip while she tried her best to keep herself from crying. “I’m so proud of you.” She said barely above a whisper.

“I’m proud of you too, punk.” 

“Text me when you land, if you think of it. OK?” she pulled away, taking his hands and looking him in the eyes with a forced smile.

“I will. Promise.”

She squeezed his hands and said “Bye, Shinoda.”

 

Jenny sat in the corner of her couch, glass in hand as she stared a hole into the coffee table, her mind rushing with unspeakable thoughts. “He’s gone, time for you to get used to that again. You were just a convenience for him anyways. Right place right time.” The darkness told her. “What could a girl like you offer a man like that? All you ever did was slow him down.”

She let them talk, knowing they were going to win in the end. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day it would all be too much. Hell, the only thing stopping her now was her drunken stupor. Knowing her luck, she’d attempt and only cause herself a lifetime of hurt by failing, managing to take twice as long to slit her wrists or not tying the knot correctly. People had suggested in the past that she buy a gun for protection since she lived alone, but the only thing she would use it to protect her from is herself.

The next day she went to work, quietly going about her business. She hadn’t been assigned to any artists per her request, leaving her to her mountains of paperwork waiting for her to file and reports to write or look over. This was how she coped, throwing herself into her work, spending every moment at the office. If she didn’t acknowledge life outside those doors, the solitude didn’t bother her. People noticing her, telling her they were “here” for her and wanting to “talk,” that’s what bothered her. It was better she was just alone.

Lunch time came and passed, her stomach insisting she eat something. She powered through her report, finding it more and more difficult to focus with the bright lights from the ceiling; she flipped on her desk light and switched off the others. Finishing the last page, she closed the folder and set it aside in her ‘completed’ pile, discovering her phone had been underneath it the entire time, set on silent. It flashed with a missed phone call from Mike but no messages. The voices stirred again with depressing comments, defeating her will to call him back. “He probably dialed you by accident, too busy to talk to you now.” She put her phone in the top drawer, it would only distract her anyways.

She looked at the time, surprised it was now nearly 7pm. The building would be mostly clear now except for those in the studio. She decided to grab something from the vending machine for a snack, just enough to tide her over for a while until she could get home and drink away her hunger. Scoring a bag of chips, she walked the halls, opening her bag and staring at the edible carbs inside; her stomach churned, a mixture of hunger and queasiness. She threw it away and headed to the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee.

The grounds infiltrated her nose with its strong scent, reminding her of all the times she would bring two cups to the studio; one for Mike and the other for whomever was in it working with him at the moment. Flashes of his smile twisted her heart, tears building as she struggled to contain them. She quickly grabbed a Styrofoam cup and lid, pouring the dark medication and placing the lid on top before making her way back to the security of her office.

Her curiosity about her phone won over her willpower not to look, making her curse herself under her breath as she checked it again. Another call from Mike and a text that read “Landed, tried to call. On our way to the hotel.”

Her thumb hovered over the dial button as her mind waged its war. She had asked him to text, he didn’t need to call, but he had. Wasn’t it rude not to return it? Not in your state, she told herself. You’re a fucking mess. She let her thumb hold down the power button to shut it down completely as her eyes welled with tears, knowing full well the path she was headed down.


End file.
